Also American humour,

David Letterman:

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president either."

"The last time the French ask for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."

Jay Leno:

"In a speech earlier today, President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education ? anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda ? and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out."

"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida."

"War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realised that spells 'OIL'."

"I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France."

Conan O'Brien:

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French."

Dennis Miller:

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?

Bill Maher:

"The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain" (countries that were two of the world's biggest imperialist powers).

Craig Kilborn:

"New rumours that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut."

Trudy throws up her hands in disgust

t waves hands in the air like I just don't care, which is not entirely misleading

Crunchie is better, but VC is easier to find. I like to suck on them, until they get all weird and gooey.

Of course, I also eat Big Turk willingly, so take all this with a grain of crack.

Of course, I also eat Big Turk willingly

t Super Porny Pants is pleased to hear this... but isn't sure if we needed to know the nickname for "little Paul"

I like to suck on them, until they get all weird and gooey.

t stumbling in, wondering if Super Porny Pants approves of this, too

Trudy, Violet Crumble,

This one's like a great big Crunchie except the bubbles inside are much finer and more brittle. However its not violet and it doesn't taste of violets ...

This is the gourmet version of the native Crunchie bar. Unlike a crunchie, which simply dissolves as you crunch, violet crumble is crunchy, THEN chewy, and overall Yummy! The chocolate tastes very slightly coffee-like, but not so much that if you don’t like coffee you wouldn’t like this.

... the name Violet Crumble actually comes from the original founders wife. Albert Hoadly (Hoadley's Violet Crumble) Violet was the name of Alberts wife. The product will be 80 years old in 2003

t Super Porny Pants eyes Am-Chau appreciatively and ponders the advantages of a side-kick...

So, Violet Crumble is the Apple Jacks of Oceana?

t eyes Super Porny Pants appreciatively

t wonders what 'Apple Jacks' are

Apple Jacks are a cereal that don't taste like apples or, presumably, that Kennedy boy who was president.

Apple Jacks are a cereal that don't taste like apples or, presumably, that Kennedy boy who was president.

For some reason, I find this answer disappointing. It could just be that I'm still short of caffeine.