Gah. I leave my fic alone for awhile, and suddenly I forget where I was going with it.

My inspiration, *poof* it is gone.

Time to reread, try to recall, see if it all comes flowing back.

P.S. Victor? Loving the Buffy/JLA crossover. Double-loving with cookies, actually.

I've committed fic for another ficathon again. This latest one was more crafted than anything fic-related I've ever done before, more thoughtful choices, less riding the muse like a runaway train. Not porny because porn is pretty easy for me and I wanted to be challenged to write something gripping that didn't have sex in it. I've been stuck on the original fiction because of what I think of as a glass boundary between what I'm writing and what it ought to be. I can see it, but I can't quite get there. So, I wrote this fic with that in mind, sort of letting go and falling forward through the barrier. I really think it's better than a lot of things I've written. Unfortunately, I'm also not sure I have the clarity of vision to judge it properly. It could be over-blown drivel (something like this post, in fact). I'd like the opinion of anyone who wants to provide it. The fic is here:

"Couldn't We Start Again?"

Whoa. Deena, that cooked.

You nearly hooked me in there forever with that line about when did life get bleaker than a movie about Viet Nam?

• Did* she turn him at the end? Was she peeved that he accepted so easily? It might be the sleepiness getting me.

Beautifully written, like all your stuff. I think my nerves are a little too raw, though, to appreciate hopelessness right now.

She did turn him. She was peeved because it wasn't the terror/sadness that made him choose to be turned, but the Willow-love that did it.

Do I need to make that more explicit? I thought it was obvious when he drank her blood.

Thanks Deb. I'm glad to know it worked for you. That's good. Feeling relieved.

Connie, sorry. This may be a hard day for hopelessness. It's wishverse, though! It all goes back to normal soon!

I thought it was obvious when he drank her blood.

It seemd obvious, but V!Willow's reaction didn't connect with me. I'm blaming the fog in my head. It does make sense, her being peeved at not getting to scare him more. It would be interesting to see them after he wakes.

That was really good Deena. Definitely sounded like Xander. This is gonna sound like a weird request, but would somebody who's gonna be at f2f be the corpse for my Homicide/ Buffista RPF? I wouldn't, but with the location, I can't resist. Must introduce FrankNTim to Too Much Candy.(I promise somebody will be torn up that you're dead.) I'm going to Hell, aren't I? And not even special hell. Just the regular one, with Strom Thurmond, and Robert McNamara(whenever he kicks off, mind you.)

Erika, you should post that request in the F2F thread. I sometimes think you, connie, Deb and I are the only regular readers of this one and I really want to read your RPF.

Erika, I might be willing ... as long as I don't hafta DIE or anything strenuous.

Nope,your death would happen off-screen, in best H:LOTS tradition. Detectives would just find you dead...somewhere TBD. It's A Very Buffista Redball. A redball being a case that attracts huge scrutiny, and media. Crazy leather pants clad out of towners in a cult that lick each other=paydirt