aaagh! more, Erika!

Changed to glove compartment. I'm guessing I have too many british authors in my past. Either that, or the weird way my father speaks is some sort of throwback to his Irish ancestors.

I'm really glad you liked it, Deb. It wasn't supposed to be funny, but I couldn't put those three together and it not be funny. The muse didn't want to go that way.

Ok, I think I've fixed our technical problem now.

That just tore it. “Me.” I said, and put that stiletto where it would do maximum damage, thinking all the while “What is this? National Nad-Kicking Month?” But I didn’t live to put up with that. Then there was a noise from the ceiling as the tiles crumpled and Munch fell into the room with us.
“Munchkin!” I say, before I think it over. What are you doing here?”

“You, dressed like that? Cries of pain? Where else am I going to want to go?” And he turned to Holland Manners and said “And you should think of me as gone, but not forgotten. Ok, babe? Or do you prefer “Commandant”?"

“Lilah is a brilliant lawyer. Undeniably. But she doesn’t have much of an instinct for human resources. Or inhuman resources.” Manners said, looking at Munch with complete distaste.

I expected the dislike to carry over, but when Munch stepped away, Manners adjusted his injured assets and looked at me with a goofy captivated expression on his face. I don’t even want to *think* about that.
”I haven’t paid you yet.” Manners says, goofy look in place.

“That’s quite all right,” I say. “You’ll get my invoice.”

“ Just a gratuity, then. That last part really added to my enjoyment of our game. It’s too bad you can’t stay longer.”And he threw five hundred dollars on the table like Kleenex.

I try to act cool, like that happens all the time. My first instinct was to stuff the cash in my bra, but I remembered that the other secret stuff was in there, so I handed the money to Munch who had switched faces and was working his best vampire intimidation on Manners(It still scared *me*, for Crissake. Manners was probably gonna have to change his imported underwear. I kept my cop face on the whole time.)
“The Mistress has another engagement.”

”In Redmond,” I offered.

“Ah,” Munch said. “The Evil Empire...well, I expect they’re just The Empire to you, nu?”

Manners didn’t say anything but I could feel his gaze like a laser on my butt.Maybe if I’d spit on him, we’d be engaged.

I made one more sweep through the main room then told Hallie I had to get my coat. “Oh, you leaving?”she said, with such real disappointment I was almost sorry to give up Katrina’s life. Very few people, especially women, have ever felt that way about me. I can be a real bull in a china shop sometimes, not to mention knowing stuff most people would rather forget.

“Yeah. Early start in the morning.”

“Oh, hon,” Halfrek said, making me pause. Could this demon be a Balmer girl? “Oh, isn’t that funny...Felicia in the office says that, and now we all do it...cute, right?...apologize to your friend...he can’t be Felicia’s client. He doesn’t look like a cop.”

“Oh, no. Don’t make me laugh.” Holy shit...Felicia’s a...but Munch and I have a bigger conversation in store.

Munchkin and I are now even. For Pratt, for everything. But I am still sad that after looking at slime and blood all day, there is no way I can face blood at night too. If I was going to change my life for a creature of the night, it would be for him. But, for whatever reason, I’m alive. I have to choose the living world, and guys that sweat.

Munch and I walk out together.

”Oh, thank God,” I say, and pull my hair back. Was it my imagination or was he looking at my neck?”Don’t look at my neck. You’re creeping me out.”

“I’m sorry. Where should I look?”

“Anywhere else.”

“Well, I’m open to suggestions.”

“In the interests of regaining my respectability, I’m not touching that.”

“If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me that.”

“Look, Munchkin...”

“I’m going home, Kay.”

Oh, God, this felt like losing him all over again. “You don’t have to...stake yourself, John. V...creatures in your situation can live for a long time on animal blood.”

“Not ‘ashes to ashes dust to dust’ home, Kay. Just Charm City...and you can say it. I’m a vampire. You might want to practice, what with your ghostbusting gig, babe. Cause we’re lobbying for Creatures of Photophobia, but I don’t think it’s gonna catch on. I sense a real backlash...some demons feel it’s too politically correct.”

What the hell was he talking about? “Damn it, Howard. Don’t look so puzzled. I’m kidding. Remember? I told you once there was nothing I wouldn’t joke about, and there’s not. Okay?”

“I’m sorry...it’s been a long...life, lately, Munchkin.” I looked down at my shoes. One heel was hanging on by a thread. “I hope these shoes aren’t favorites of Cordy’s. They’re toast.”

“That’s been going around. This year’s been a rough one for shoes.”And he got that soft look he always gets about the shooting.I would never think he had it in him, if I hadn’t seen it.

He stopped walking abruptly and he asked “Would you really care? If I ate the big Dustbuster, I mean.”

“Of course,” I say. “No question.” I thought he was going to ask me something hard. But Munch questions usually come in parts, so I waited.

“Of course,” he says. “Kay, my God, you are amazing. In the world right now, there are probably ten women who don’t care that I died...followed by another three or four who wish they knew where my grave was so they could dance on it.”

“Munch, don’t, ok? This is hard enough, huh?”

“I know it bothers you, but technically I’m...10-7.” He pauses, waving away my attempts to talk. “And you, Kay Howard, have dragged yourself across the country, have seen me change my physical being, and yet, this doesn’t repulse you.”

“It repulses me a little, “ I admit. “But you’re my bunky. I owe you, huh?”

“That was a very sweet bit of ‘obligation’ you laid on me at Caritas, babe. I think if Poindexter had waited to spill the beans, you might have obligated me with tongue. Hmm, French obligation...a lost art. But I bet you’re good at it. One for the road?”

“That...might not have been all that was.”My God, better he should drain me than embarrass me this way. But I don’t say it. Because he might do it. And I might want him to.

“What’s this? Words of love from the blushing Detective Howard?”

“Ok, yeah...I love you, all right? But I didn’t find out till there was no future in it, so there’s no point in even talking about it...”

“Believe it or not, that was the most beautiful thing anybody ever said to me.”

“Oh, bullshit, Munchkin.” I say. He doesn't have to make fun of me. And I know all his routines, anyway.
“Elizabeth Browning couldn’t have said it better.” He teased. “OK, you caught me...I was just pretending cause it’s you. And I kind of love you, too. I can say that now...it’s one of my special dead-guy privileges. Cause what’s the worst that can happen?”

“You gonna be all right? In Balmer?”

“I’ll manage, babe. I always do.”

“Cause if you needed to...I have a place.Till I come back in September.”

“You know what I want.”

“As long as I don’t have to kick you in the crotch. Do one thing for me. Give a hundred to Timmy. I owe him too.”

“Not with tongue, though.”

“No.”

And I kissed him goodbye. We had to hurry so he could get to the docks while it was still dark.”Oh,” I said, feeling the sticky notes fall forward out of my bra.
“Wow, that view was good enough I wish I had time for more than a kiss.”

“You’ve got two minutes, right?” I say. “Sorry. Habit. You’re the primary on that one, huh? Connect the dots. Make me proud.”

END (Maybe it's too open?) Deena, awesome Cordy voice, babe.(Heh, just when I have that habit conquered, I write Munch again.)

sigh

I don't want it to be over.

Aw, that's nice. Be glad I didn't go with my original "I kissed him, told him that I loved him, then I killed him." concept. Mega-dramatic, but I also want to write Vamp! Munchkin again. Sometime. And big piles of dust don't make dirty jokes. And I'd probably still be crying, to tell you the truth. ETA: I had fun trying to make their "revelation" as unschmoopy as humanly possible...almost completely non-romantic romantic moment. I think it's in character though.

t applause Lovely stuff, Erika. The actors were just having a little staged reading in my brain. Very cool. t /applause

Deena, yours is bookmarked for later perusal; I'm off to breakfast and blessed caffeine.

Yay, really? And I suppose Kay wearing that Dopplegangland outfit had nothing to do with that...it was all my powerful metaphors. So nobody but me thinks my ending might be weak?

I think it's a little abrupt, but... hey. I didn't want it to end, so I'm not sure how clear my thinking is.

Karl, you are a darling, and I'd probably steal you from Erika were there any chance of getting you past her spicy brains.

Abruptness is a problem for me...I may have to rethink.Because I kind of hop from image to image, rather than plan out first(I told somebody once that rather than have a process as such, my creativity is more like Cordy's visions except that I don't usually want to throw up after having it) I'm hoping to learn to control it more, one day. Oh, yeah, I have wonderful fans...But Deena, I think Karl just likes that I talk dirty and throw writers' names around a lot. He loves me for my Munchkin, plain and simple. :) ETA: But I needed to hear it cause I've been feeling more like Gordon Pratt today. A relatively repellent little loser that crawls out from his corner to tell the world he is smarter than they are, even though accomplishment-wise he way doesn't deliver. OK, so I'm not as dangerous or as ugly. And I haven't paid anyone to touch me yet. And I'm not a racist. But Gordon Pratt is my worst nightmare.

You know, I had the feeling you were going to end it that way.

It's damned satisfying, and damned good, too.