Who died and made you Elvis?

Cordelia ,'Storyteller'


Buffista Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies  

Where the Buffistas let their fanfic creative juices flow. May contain erotica.


erikaj - Mar 13, 2004 9:11:30 am PST #8874 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

MUNCH

I watch as the shadows get long and purple around the Hyperion. Why hasn’t she left yet? Go, Kay, for Christ’s sake. I can’t fend the dragon lady off forever, especially since my wiles didn’t work. She’s with someone, a young pretty shrill-voiced someone...is every woman in this town gorgeous?

I’m surprised nobody has asked me to leave...arrested me for felony non-sexy or something. I like Kay’s companion, too. She complains as much as I do. God, I miss that. The Princess is so used to being anticipated she has no need to kvetch, and Dru has an enviable ability to make reality fit the pretty dancing pictures in her head.And that sounded like her, didn’t it? Don’t think that’s not a frightening thought.

“So, you really think this guy left this threat because he...can’t perform?” the brunette asks Kay. Hey, standing right here. I almost feel like consoling my equipment, telling the boys that the lady...girl, really, with the perky breasts and the big mouth doesn’t know whereof she speaks.

“Not exactly.” Thank you, Kay. “It’s more...what-do-you-call it...symbolic. He’s powerless...some little weasel living in his mama’s basement. Has to fold up his plastic woman in the box with his Star Trek figurines.” I want to come out of the shadows, and explain myself, but I can’t.
“Yuck. Two words: Xander. Harris.”

“This Xander, has he ever been to Balmer?”

“Not that I know of. But I try to put my mistakes behind me.”

“One of those, huh?” And Kay smiles a crooked smile that tears at my heart. Love should never make *her* make that face. Just idiots like me. Just get in the car, babe, I think.They do, but I can’t leave. A smarter creature of the night/mercenary/ double agent would have, but I’m a schmuck.

KAY

We pull into Cordy’s place and immediately the lights turn on.”Funny wiring?” I ask.

“No, that’s Dennis. Dennis is a G-H-O-S-T.”

“Oh, hi, Dennis. “ I say, feeling a little stupid, but you gotta have manners, right? Mom always said they didn’t cost anything. “Look, I’m not sure what communication’s like where you are, but if you ever run into another gh—g-h-o-st named Agnes Saunders, let her know that puke Fenwick got life. I couldn’t have done it without her. I know she wanted him to walk the Mile, but this’ll be a better punishment, maybe. Let’s see how much cons want to hear about blue in the Old Testament, huh? Asshole.”

“Every day is a casefile for you, isn’t it?” Cordy asked.

“Aw, once and a while you bring one home...you’ll see. By the time you’re my age...”

“No,” Cordy says.

“I’m not as old as all that, you know.” I couldn’t help feeling a little offended.

“I’m just here till the acting takes off...of course I’ll never forget the little people but...”

“Uh huh. What if I told you it’s in your blood? That almost in spite of yourself, you’re a natural evil-fighter. That if you could get your old life, it’d never feel right? It happens...that’s what my Job and your Job does. We’re just a little bit ruined for normal life, huh?”

“I don’t have to be.”Cordy said.” This is just a temporary thing.”

“You just keep telling yourself that, hon.”I said. “ Any day now, I’m gonna be married to an oysterman and working at K-Mart. Doesn’t my face just scream blue-light special?”

“Honestly?”

“No, that’s ok. You’ve been pretty decent. I wouldn’t want you to sprain something.”

I thought I’d adjusted to the whole ghost thing, when a flower floated out from the vase on the table. “I think that means Dennis likes you. I can’t remember the last time he brought a flower for me.”

“It’s not me. It’s this. “ And I shook my hair out. I mean, I was okay with it and everything, but every single guy in my life has been apeshit over it. “Let me touch it, Kay. Let me wash it, Kay. I love it when you lie on top of me and it spreads across my chest.”Please.

Even my friends...well, I thought Munch was my friend. I saw in a magazine a bunch of cute short haircuts, and I asked “Munchkin, what do you think of this on me?” Just idle, shooting the shit, huh, not gonna do anything. He acted like I said using big words gives you cancer of the testicles. Like I upset his whole apple cart.
“You know, you guys are all the same.” I told Dennis, but I put the flower behind my ear anyway. A compliment is a compliment.


deborah grabien - Mar 13, 2004 10:34:53 am PST #8875 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Oh, damn, erika. That's so sweet, and I like sweet (as opposed to sappy).

Dennis was my favourite underutilised character on televsion for the past couple of years. I love that ghost.


erikaj - Mar 13, 2004 10:56:15 am PST #8876 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

Aw, shucks. Well, there was the Dennis thing...and the Saunders case thing(without which there would be no Homicide/ME crossovers, as I've said before, but Detective Howard's willingness to believe she saw a ghost just let the little hamster on the wheel of my brain try all kinds of stuff. I still sort of laugh at "and I may have observed a floating(big word I can't remember) in the shape of lips. Cause it is both spooky and cop-like.(That is a favorite around our house though cause it's also the "Die, you bastard, die!" ep which my mother thinks is some of the funniest shit ever filmed) "We wanted to wait to get a divorce after all the children were dead."


Lyra Jane - Mar 14, 2004 11:13:17 am PST #8877 of 10001
Up with the sun

Anyone around to do a quick beta on a Fred/Harmony thing for the Fred ficathon?


Anne W. - Mar 14, 2004 11:14:09 am PST #8878 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.

Sure! You can email me at my profile addy.


sj - Mar 14, 2004 11:14:46 am PST #8879 of 10001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

Anyone around to do a quick beta on a Fred/Harmony thing for the Fred ficathon?

I can as long as it doesn't include any spoilers for the last episode, which I haven't seen yet.


Lyra Jane - Mar 14, 2004 11:15:10 am PST #8880 of 10001
Up with the sun

Thanks, Anne!

(Fred is a *hard* voice.)


erikaj - Mar 14, 2004 11:16:30 am PST #8881 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

I'd be willing to try...no guarantees of actual helpful comments, though.


Lyra Jane - Mar 14, 2004 11:20:26 am PST #8882 of 10001
Up with the sun

It is now insent to Anne and sj. Erika, I'll get you a copy as well.

Thanks so much!


erikaj - Mar 14, 2004 11:45:18 am PST #8883 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

No sweat.(Man, I really need to start writing characters my age...I sound like a time capsule.)