Fred: Oh my God! Angel, you're…cute! Angel: Fred, don't! Fred: Oh, but the little hands! And the hair! Angel: Hey! You're fired.

'Smile Time'


Buffista Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies  

Where the Buffistas let their fanfic creative juices flow. May contain erotica.


erikaj - Mar 12, 2004 10:12:56 am PST #8864 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

MUNCH

I watch as the shadows get long and purple around the Hyperion. Why hasn’t she left yet? Go, Kay, for Christ’s sake. I can’t fend the dragon lady off forever, especially since my wiles didn’t work. She’s with someone, a young pretty shrill-voiced someone...is every woman in this town gorgeous? I’m surprised nobody has asked me to leave...arrested me for felony non-sexy or something. I like Kay’s companion, too. She complains as much as I do. God, I miss that. The Princess is so used to being anticipated she has no need to kvetch, and Dru has an enviable ability to make reality fit the pretty dancing pictures in her head.And that sounded like her, didn’t it? Don’t think that’s not a frightening thought.

“So, you really think this guy left this threat because he...can’t perform?” the brunette asks Kay. Hey, standing right here. I almost feel like consoling my equipment, telling the boys that the lady...girl, really, with the perky breasts and the big mouth doesn’t know whereof she speaks.

“Not exactly.” Thank you, Kay. “It’s more...what-do-you-call it...symbolic. He’s powerless...some little weasel living in his mama’s basement. Has to fold up his plastic woman in the box with his Star Trek figurines.” I want to come out of the shadows, and explain myself, but I can’t.
“Yuck. Two words: Xander. Harris.”

“This Xander, has he ever been to Balmer?”

“Not that I know of. But I try to put my mistakes behind me.”

“One of those, huh?” And Kay smiles a crooked smile that tears at my heart. Love should never make *her* make that face. Just idiots like me. Just get in the car, babe, I think.They do, but I can’t leave. A smarter creature of the night/mercenary/ double agent would have, but I’m a schmuck.


deborah grabien - Mar 12, 2004 10:16:47 am PST #8865 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

A smarter creature of the night/mercenary/ double agent would have, but I’m a schmuck.

Damn it. That kinda sorta broke me, erika. Poor Munch, never a genuine badass, except when he's assing himself.


erikaj - Mar 12, 2004 10:28:06 am PST #8866 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

I know.(and that sounds conceited like I'm saying "Aren't I emotionally affecting?" but when I'm writing him or Kay...it's like it's not me. Really. I didn't see that coming. It's like taking his dictation. Creepy but true. Poor Munchkin...he's a Fool for Love, too.(substituting manifestos for Bloody Awful Poetry, of course.) Not gonna write it. Not.


erikaj - Mar 12, 2004 12:32:02 pm PST #8867 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

KAY

We pull into Cordy’s place and immediately the lights turn on.”Funny wiring?” I ask.

“No, that’s Dennis. Dennis is a G-H-O-S-T.”

“Oh, hi, Dennis. “ I say, feeling a little stupid, but you gotta have manners, right? Mom always said they didn’t cost anything. “Look, I’m not sure what communication’s like where you are, but if you ever run into another gh—g-h-o-st named Agnes Saunders, let her know that puke Fenwick got life. I couldn’t have done it without her. I know she wanted him to walk the Mile, but this’ll be a better punishment, maybe. Let’s see how much cons want to hear about blue in the Old Testament, huh? Asshole.”

“Every day is a casefile for you, isn’t it?” Cordy asked.

“Aw, once and a while you bring one home...you’ll see. By the time you’re my age...”

“No,” Cordy says.

“I’m not as old as all that, you know.” I couldn’t help feeling a little offended.

“I’m just here till the acting takes off...of course I’ll never forget the little people but...”

“Uh huh. What if I told you it’s in your blood? That almost in spite of yourself, you’re a natural evil-fighter. That if you could get your old life, it’d never feel right? It happens...that’s what my Job and your Job does. We’re just a little bit ruined for normal life, huh?


deborah grabien - Mar 12, 2004 12:38:32 pm PST #8868 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

holy CRAP! Kay being able to see Cordy that way, and letting her know about it?

Off to consider Kay in a whole new light.


erikaj - Mar 12, 2004 12:43:07 pm PST #8869 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

Is it too much? Cause maybe she wouldn't say all of it...not to her face. She'd keep some of those thoughts to herself, wouldn't she? After all this time, don't want a Mary Kay. Even if a pink Cavalier would be too cute.


deborah grabien - Mar 12, 2004 12:50:07 pm PST #8870 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

I don't think so, sweetie, on the too much thing. Because hearing her saying it in my head, I'm hearing a mildly exasperated "shit, why are these people so damned dumb?" tone, not a classic mentoring tone.


erikaj - Mar 12, 2004 1:19:40 pm PST #8871 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

Yeah, maybe with an undertone of "Yeah, and I was just gonna do it till the K-Mart opened up in Rocky Point. But here I am. Years later and with actual scars, but I can't stay away."


Connie Neil - Mar 12, 2004 10:36:26 pm PST #8872 of 10001
brillig

Once again, not a complete scene, but I wanted to get it out here. V!Giles, by the way, but new folk.

In a lonely part of France was a very ancient cave. Painted on the walls were pictures hidden away from the world's eyes for millennia, strange scenes of hunters in pursuit of their prey. Unlike the mysterious caves of Lascaux, however, it was not only the hunters in these scenes who went on two legs. In this cave, the humans fled from fearsome creatures with long, clawed fingers and hungry fangs. The ancient vampires ran down their prey, ravaged and fed and gloried in their mastery over the world.

In the deepest cave, other pictures told another part of the story. A human figure fought back, attacking with a long spear as another group of human figures stood by. The warrior was smaller than the observers, as if the human who dared defy the vampires was a youth, or even a girl.

The only lights permitted were small lanterns barely capable of breaching the primal dark. The only vampire who usually occupied the caves was one so ancient he'd forgotten what his human face had looked like. He tended the paintings, speaking to them as old friends. Every few hundred years he added new ones in his own private section of the caves.

Tonight he had more mobile company, important company. Or, at least, important to themselves. The elders of the Order of Aurelius met in council, to discuss who would become their new leader.

Male and female vampires from around the world had gathered in the largest cave, where concessions to civilization had been made in the form of comfortable chairs and couches. The elders were attended by minions, and more than one had brought a private supply of humans. Debates could be thirsty work.

The vampires mingled quietly, greeting others they hadn't seen in centuries. Most eyes followed one particular female, who made sure she greeted everyone.

She had last seen the bright sun of her African homeland over two centuries ago. Her black hair hung unbound to the floor, where a human slave crouched behind her, carefully holding the hair clear of the floor and keeping the strands untangled with a golden comb. Her champagne silk gown had been made for her in 1952 by Dior himself. Her name was Fleur de Mal, and she was widely considered to be the primary candidate for leadership of Aurelius.

When the ancient vampire caretaker entered the chamber, the others ceased their conversations and bowed. He gestured them to the seats and waited till they were silent again.

"Our Master has fallen. Prophecy was fulfilled. He rose from his prison, but his reign was brief."

"Slayer," came the hiss from several portions of the chamber.

The guardian glared at his audience. "The Slayer fell. Prophecy was fulfilled. But she rose up as well, outside of all prophecy, and battle with our Master and threw him down."

"Revenge," muttered several.

"To what end?" the guardian challenged. "There are always Slayers. If not this one, then another. And that is not why we are here. Our Master has fallen. Aurelius is without a leader. You all know this, and in the time that has passed, you have discussed this. Tonight we decide."

Fleur de Mal rose to her feet. Her slave hurried to pull her hair out of the way as she stepped forward.

"I claim the leadership of the Order of Aurelius, by right of lineage and deed."

The guardian bowed in acknowledgement. Fleur de Mal gazed around at the others, waitng for the response.

On the far side of the chamber, a male vampire in impeccable Georgian court garb, stood. "I challenge the lineage." He bowed to Fleur de Mal, then gestured to the minion behind him, who handed him an ornate snuff box.

Fleur de Mal inclined her head. "I am pleased, Magus, that the reports I heard of your grievous injuries were exaggerated."

The Magus smiled. "The stake bounced off a rib. Good assassins are so hard to find these days, aren't they, Fleur?" He inhaled a small portion of snuff.

The guardian frowned. "Challenge has been made to your candidacy, madam."

Fleur nodded. "On what grounds, Magus, do you challenge my lineage? My sire was begotten by the Master himself. How thin is the Master's blood in your veins?"

The Magus, six vampiric generations removed from the fledgling created by the Master in Renaissance Florence, twitched very faintly. "Your sire, yes. An interesting story, that. He was destined to be a meal, was he not? Except that he somehow managed to grab the Master's wrist and begin feeding himself. Quite tenacious of him. I believe the Master compared him to a rat."

"My sire served the Master for nearly two hundred years," Fleur said calmly.

"True, true. He cared for those little dogs, didn't he? The Master was still amused by human foibles then."

"Yes, my sire and the Master spent a great deal of time together. So many of his other children had to be summoned back to their place at his side."

The Magus brushed away a few remaining grains of snuff from his upper lip. "Yes, they were out in the world, tending to a vampire's business of blood and death, when they weren't forwarding the purposes of our Master. Still, someone had to stay behind and clean up after the little monsters."


Connie Neil - Mar 12, 2004 10:37:09 pm PST #8873 of 10001
brillig

ooh, the dreaded original female character. I don't think she can sing.