Minor alterations: Pembleton snorted "If you're that whipped by girls who aren't giving you anything, Tim, I hate to see what your girlfriend could do,"

"You're such a pig, Frank." Tim was methodically unwrapping a candy bar and breaking it into tiny pieces he placed in his mouth like Communion wafers. He only does fidgety stuff like that to make me crazy, Pembleton thought.
"If you want that chocolate, be a man and eat it. Don't make me sit here and watch you maul it first...it's not natural."
"I'm just trying to appreciate what I have."

"By subjecting me to public mastication?"

"I'm sure he wouldn't do that in front of anyone," Munch said.

"It means chewing, you moron!" Pembleton snapped.

"Oh, right, Anybody holding? Cause I went through my stash last night." Munch said.

Tim's eyes widened. "You mean...like grass?" Caught between awe and fear, he whispered. "My cousin took grass and he got all paran...never mind. But that crap'll kill you."

"Yeah. I saw that movie too. Real funny. And marijuana is always 'shit'."

"Why? Aren't they the same word?"

"Don't know. It's a rule...that's why I want you to read "Fear and Loathing...Hunter Thompson will change your life."

"I don't want to change my life," Bayliss said.

"You should."
Pembleton and Felton laughed. Kay glared at them, but it took Giardello's commanding presence to make them stop. "Detective Howard, just the person I'm looking for. I need you to run over and check on the paperwork for the Peterman autopsy...it's in the Bermuda triangle that is our fax machine. And find out what that smell is."

It was hard sounding like herself. "Sure, Gee. Want some chocolate?"
"No, I love it, but it's hard on my digestive system. Forget shootings...getting old is murder. If not for the alternative, I wouldn't recommend it.
"

Kay came back a few minutes later, looking shaken and green around the gills. "You guys," she said, dropping her purse on the table, "Our job is *so* gross. I had to look at this report that was all about guts and stuff. So disgusting. And with pictures...I did it cause I had to but ew...look!"

Tim studied the photos. "Yep. Pretty disgusting. I would've barfed."

"We're lucky Kay's tougher than you," Frank pointed out.

" She's not...ok, just a little," Tim said.Kay beamed.

"Big deal," Beau said. "Everyone's tougher than Timmy."

"That's not what you said last week when I beat you arm-wrestling at the Wharf Rat!" Kay teased.

"The tables down there are old. They slant."

"And I had home table advantage...and the sun was in your eyes, huh?"

"I don't play well with inferior equipment."

"So that's what the counseling's for. Face it, I beat you 10-3...I should at least get stamina points."

---

deborah, thank you! This was one of those situations where you get tunnel vision. Words like psychic, phenomenom, and dreamscape were taking over my thought process.

You may have very well removed my blinders.

green fields, sky, flowers

Yup. Off to write again.

May you receive the bestest tiara ever! (The tiaras in your Bitches post were gorgeous, by the way.)

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Cereal:

"I'm sure he wouldn't do that in front of anyone," Munch said.

"It means chewing, you moron!" Pembleton snapped.

Love this. Especially a character named Munch being unaware as to what mastication means.

Signed,
munching on crackers.

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Heh. Thanks, Nicole. I have moments when I wish I couldn't hear Giles quite so clearly, or see him polishing his specs to gain time.

erika, Tim is of the perfect. Of the perfect, I tell you.

One change, not Tim, just the tense:

He only did fidgety stuff like that to make me crazy, Pembleton thought.

He only does, not did. Present tense, I think, yes?

---

Yep. I changed it.And added stuff. Not only that, Nicole, but it sounds dirty...Munch has a radar for anything that sounds even a little smutty. That's why it's weird he's on Sex Crimes, now. Sometimes I fanwank that as somebody's sense of humor working overtime...water finding its own level, and whatnot.I figured the band candy would only make it worse.I was surprised by the Maupin comparison cause I worshipped "Tales of the City" in college, and wrote my own whole big derivative, crippy one...I had no idea the influence was still so obvious.

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Heh. That candy would turn Munch into a drooling hormone with feet, who practiced his "dark sardonic stuff" in front of a mirror.

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No doubt.

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I worshipped "Tales of the City" in college

Years ago, used to have reading nights with my roommate. He would read Tales of The City, (More Tales, Further Tales, etc) out loud while I laid on the floor, chin propped on hands, listening intently. He had the best reading voice. Sigh.

I had no idea the influence was still so obvious.

Honestly, I have never read anything that reminded me so much of the beloved Armistead Maupin. I mean that in the best complimentary sense. (Especially in Maybe The Moon since I don't recall any of his other novels written in first person.)

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Oh erika--you're making me miss Homicide something fierce. You have their voices down pat. So good.

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When I was poor and working two part-time jobs to scrape by, I spent a considerable amount of time in several bookstores, standing in the aisles and reading a couple chapters of the Tales books each time, because I couldn't afford to buy them and the library didn't carry them. (This was before the era of big bookstores with coffee bars that you were welcome to sit down and read in.) That's how much I like Maupin.

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