The demon to his left smacked him hard upside of the head. "You will address her most wonderful amazingness with more respect, vampire." Spike snarled at him and collected another smack.
Glory raised a perfectly manicured finger. "OK, that raises an interesting little point. You're that Nail, Stake, Tentpeg--"
"Spike!"
"Whatever. You're the Slayer's pet vampire--"
"I am not!"
She put her finger over his lips. "Mother's talking. Dreg, why is he here?"
The demon on Spike's left straightened proudly. "Smirg said that he's the Key, most creamy smoothness."
"Uh huh. Dreg, what do we know about the Key?"
"Um, glowing green swirl of power--"
"Other than that. Like its current form."
"I'm most terribly sorry, your dark chocolate truffleness."
Glory blinked. "You've been saving that one, haven't you."
"Yes, most rich delectableness."
She looked at a demon standing nearby. "Go get me some."
The demon bowed. "At once, your mocha almond swirliness."
"And some of that, too." Glory turned to Spike. "What?"
Spike quickly wiped the look of disbelief off his face. "Uh, nothing ..." He saw the expectant looks. "... most bloody goodness."
"Euw. But you're a vampire. Still, euw." She turned back to Dreg. "Its current form, Dreg."
"The Key is in the form of an innocent, most holy wonderfulness."
"An innocent. And what is this, then?" She pointed to Spike.
"Um, he's a vampire, glorious one."
"And are vampires really known for being innocent?"
Spike opened his eyes real big, like one of those wretched Precious Moments figurines Dru liked to steal and poke the eyes out of.
Glory stared at him. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to look innocent?"
"Well, stop it. It's disturbing. You see, Dreg? Innocent and vampires? Don't mix. So what can we conclude from this?"
Dreg hunched down into his robes. "What, pretty shiny sparkling one?"
Glory backhanded him across the room. "A vampire is not the Key, idiot!" She tucked a curl back behind her ear and turned back to Spike. "So, why the heck did Smirg think you were my Key? Were you and the Slayer's baby sister talking about it? And what is up with that, anyway, you playing babysitter to a Slayer's bratty kid sister?"
"Not hardly," Spike smirked.
"Stocking the larder? You fattening her up or something?"
One of the other demons leaned forward. "This is the vampire with the chip, splendiferous one." Spike sneered at him.
"Oh, *you're* him." Glory poked a finger around in Spike's hair. "Gee, blond envy much?" Spike glanced at her hair. "Hey, this is natural, buddy. So there's a chip in your head, huh?"
"Uh, yeah."
"A chip in your brain," she said thoughtfully, digging her fingernail against his scalp. "That's gotta hurt."
Spike gasped as the skin was sliced open. Blood trickled through his hair. He heard a grating sound as Glory kept digging. She was chipping at his skull.
"So, you and--oh, yeah, Dawn, you were strolling along chatting about the Key, hm? You know who it is?"
"N--no, I don't."
Glory drew back her hand to look at her bloody finger, tsked, and flicked something out from under the nail. "Does she?" She reached back to his head.
"She's a kid, what does she know?"
"That's why I'm asking you." He couldn't help the wince as she went back to work. "You've got a thick skull. You and little Dawnie, chatting about the Key. What did you say?"
"Just--wondering." He saw a few small flecks of something fly from his head. Blood ran past his ear and down his neck.
"About what?" Glory cleaned her fingernail again. She peered at his head and turned her hand to get a better angle.
"About--about where it was, what to do about it, how to keep it away from you."
"Oh, now, is that nice? That's my Key, my very own special glowy Key, and I need it to get home." She twisted her wrist, and there was an audible pop. Spike bit his tongue to keep from yelling as he felt his skull break and something sink through. "No ideas on where the key is?" Glory asked. He didn't answer, and she frowned at him. "Oh, sorry." She pulled her fingertip free. "There you go."
Spike shook his head, unable to speak just yet.
"Well, poo. Oh, dammit, I broke a nail." She peered closely at her fingertip. "Is that brain? So much for the piano lessons, huh?" She held her hand out imperiously, and one of the demons dashed forward to wipe her finger.
"Why'd anybody tell me or the kid where the Key is, anyway?" Spike said. It had been a long time since he'd been tortured for a reason instead of just for fun, but the techniques of misdirection were coming back to him. "I didn't think anybody knew."
Glory patted his cheek. "Somebody knows, pookie. My guys have talked to somebody who knows."
"So why isn't he tied to the chair getting a trepanning?"
She slapped him, knocking the chair over and bouncing his head off the carpet. "Because you are." She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back up. "So if you don't know, who in that little bunch would?" She poked through his hair until she found the hole she'd made. "How far in is that chip, anyway?"
"It's not in there anymore!"
"Excuse me?"
"I've got my bite back." He jerked his head at the demons. "Ask them, they must have heard. I thought everybody knew by now."
Glory looked at her minions. "Well?"
Dreg consulted with the others. "Most awe-inspiring impressiveness, there have been some rumors that this Spike creature has been feeding on humans again."
"And you still thought he was innocent enough to be the Key? Why can't minions be fanatically loyal *and* smart, huh?" she said to Spike, who thought better of answering. "Any other little tidbits you've heard?"
"He lusts after the Slayer," one of the demons offered.
Glory frowned at Spike. "That scrawny thing?" He shrugged. "Go on, guys."
"He's been seen with the Slayer's Watcher," Dreg said. "The Watcher is a vampire now."
After a moment's thought, Glory walked over to Dreg. "The Slayer's Watcher has been turned into a vampire."
"Yes, most--"
A wave of her hand cut him off. "And when did this little event happen?"
"Several weeks ago, Glorificus."
Slowly she wrapped her hand around the front of his robe and lifted him up so she could look him in the eye. "The Slayer's Watcher, her greatest ally and a threat to me all by himself, was turned into a demon-possessed killer, and you didn't think I'd want to know?"
Dreg bowed his head. "I am a worm, most profound arbiter of my fate. Flay me alive and wrap my beating heart in my skin."
"Not in this dress I'm not, it's Versace." She pulled her arm back, preparatory to throwing him through the wall, then hesitated. "He'd know."
"Most holy?"
Glory dropped Dreg on the floor and went back to Spike. "The Watcher. He knows where the Key is, doesn't he."
"The Watcher?" Spike shrugged as well as he was able. "I wouldn't know, me and him, mostly we talk about killin' and--" He barely muffled the shout as she grabbed his face to hold his head still as she poked at the hole in his skull. His left cheekbone cracked under the pressure.
She hesitated, though, before she got much further into his brain than she'd already gone. "If I stick my finger too far in there, your voice could go all woobly along with your memories. So no more brain surgery." She let him go and smiled at his mingled gasp of relief and pain. "Heart surgery, now . . ." The smile never changed as she punched two fingers into his chest and snapped a piece off a rib. "Just got to make room to
Yeah, Glory could use a little more airhead. (oh, dear. Porn hath corrupted me.)
Also 'goons'? It may be canon, I can't remember, but I thought it was a British word- it doesn't feel quite right with the American voices.
Elena is right about the cheekbone, too. Evil in a good way.
And-while I'm talking to you, connie, you're evil in a bad way, too. I posted the second Bun story at ff.n yesterday, and this morning I have two new reviews, both of which are good and imply I should write another one. Good is nice, but writing another one is not.
