Deena, thanks for the comments.

You've only previously mentioned Mr. Kiaren (and that's a very odd name) who is Mr. Sugar? It sounds familiar. I think he'd drop the word that. "I don't imagine there'll be a problem."

Mr Kiaren and Mr Sugar are both faceless parts of the Big Company. They're just name-dropping; if it's distracting, I'll see if I can take them out.

I'm really enjoying this story. You've set it firmly in time so we know what's going on. Your characters' voices are very well done. Lex is, I think, very smoothly added, and you're not "rushing your fences" so to speak, shoehorning him into the action. I'd really like to read more...

Thank you! I'm glad setting it firmly into the canon is working-- it's a long process to get all the details right. You'll be able to read more as soon as I've written it...

Oh, the look on Lex Luthor's face when he's told such a thing flat-out by no-nonsense Anya. I laughed and laughed.

I know, connie. It's one of those priceless moments in fanfic writing when you realise that you've actually managed to surprise your muse.

the man should really have his license revoked, shouldn't he.

You're not wrong. (In fact, wouldn't it be interesting if that exact thing *did* happen... he'd be reduced to walking, like nearly everyone else in Sunnydale... hummmm....)

Part of the problem with the whole high street/main street thing is that I don't really know where the Magic Box is; I've always pictured it as at the shady end of a street of shops (not far from the laundry, as we saw in OMWF), but the canon's quite shaky.

Part of the problem with the whole high street/main street thing is that I don't really know where the Magic Box is; I've always pictured it as at the shady end of a street of shops (not far from the laundry, as we saw in OMWF), but the canon's quite shaky.

Given what we saw at the beginning of season 4, when Giles bought it, and when Buffy and Giles drove to it for the first time, I'd just say it was downtown Sunnydale.

The first 4 Chapters of Enjoined are back up in their old slots. Feedback welcomed, longed for, etc. (Especially criticism, but also hair-pats and ego-stroking.)

What about "the shopping district"? Our town is so far gone in urban decay there practically IS no shopping district downtown, one goes to The Mall, or one of the outlying strip malls, known as "shopping centers". But back when people did go downtown to shop, the section of town where the stores were was differentiated from the offices and the industrial areas as "the shopping district."

I'd say "downtown" instead of "high street."

Hmmmm. I think if it's Sunnydale, "downtown" probably works. The overhead panoramic shots of Sunnydale (I'm thinking in Hush and a couple of others) show a largely residential town, and those are likely to have a centralised shopping area, with malls on the outskirts. And the Magic Box was definitely not in a mall.

I think I'll go with "downtown". Thanks, folks.

That's good. Downtown.

I hear the lights are much brighter there, and you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares.

Hah! Funny, Daniel.

Cindy, the story is very intriguing. I want to know more. Off the top of my head, I'm not sure I followed the explanation of Willow's power jumps and the First Slayer dreams and, for some reason, Dawn sounded like Willow and Kennedy sounded like Faith, to me. Those were the things that stood out to me. I don't really have time, right now, to go over it more carefully.

If you've got it in a mailable format, I'd be glad to look at it in more depth off the board if you want me to. I think you have my e-mail address, but my profile address is good, too.

Deena - you're so sweet. I don't have it in a mailable format, though. My MS Word is out of commission, and my mail is crappy webmail. The story would probably be too big for it. Thank you, though. I did also post it in my LJ for a limited group. I'm pretty sure you're on that. I don't know if that would make it more useful for you, or if you wanted to get into the text and mail back a copy with comments.

If (and only if) you get the time and the inclination at the same time (naps should be a higher priority), would you please give me examples of Dawn=Willow, Kennedy=Faith. I know I had trouble writing Kennedy, probably because each time the character was onscreen, I resented that she was getting so much time and attention. *g* Dawn felt easy for me though.

I'll make a note to take a look at Dawn's bit about Willow's power surges when I get back. (Should already be grey now--will be very soon.)

Thank you so much.