Beverly, thanks, I pretty much wrote that part around midnight and was trying to indicate he was using a hidden wrist knife thing. That's one reason I want to rewrite the story.
What'd you all order a dead guy for?
Jayne ,'The Message'
Buffista Fic: It Could Be Plot Bunnies
Where the Buffistas let their fanfic creative juices flow. May contain erotica.
askye - Apr 22, 2003 9:58:05 am PDT #3630 of 10001
Thrive to spite them
Deena - Apr 22, 2003 1:01:25 pm PDT #3631 of 10001
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara
Askye, that's very nicely twisted. I like it. I didn't think it felt especially rushed. The first sentence isn't a sentence:
When Faith showed up unexpectedly at Wesley’s door, looking strangely vulnerable, her attitude and swagger worn thin.
I think something's missing in there. Otherwise, it's sick and hot.
Truly, the characters are each right, and right there. As usual with your stuff, connie, I "see" the characters as I read, and hear the lines in their voices.
Beverly is me.
askye - Apr 22, 2003 2:10:12 pm PDT #3632 of 10001
Thrive to spite them
Deena it really isn't a sentence because Wes washing his hands was originally the opening paragraph only in present tense and set off so that all the action between Faith and Wes was a flashback until it got to Wes combing the tangles out of Faith's hair, that was flipped back to present time.
So it was, Wes going out, Faith's body, then flipping to Faith at the door, only with pronouns. I realized the mistake when I was reading over it as I was about to hit post in LJ so I had to make a quick fix.
askye - Apr 22, 2003 2:12:34 pm PDT #3633 of 10001
Thrive to spite them
Despite the flaws everyone thinks the story is twisted and dark and hot, which is what I was going for so I'm very very happy about that.
Deena - Apr 22, 2003 2:24:40 pm PDT #3634 of 10001
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara
Oh, definitely twisted, dark and hot, and few flaws, imo. I like it.
Beverly - Apr 22, 2003 2:28:27 pm PDT #3635 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
Hellyeah, twisted, and dark, and very hot, with a kick in the teeth ending. And as Deena says, the flaws are few.
Elena - Apr 22, 2003 5:05:05 pm PDT #3636 of 10001
Thanks for all the fish.
I was going to say, before I got booted -
Ali, it turned out nicely, I think.
connie, loving it.
Connie Neil - Apr 22, 2003 10:37:03 pm PDT #3637 of 10001
brillig
The first segment of Career Change V: Glory Night is up at my website
The real fun begins ...
Elena - Apr 22, 2003 10:41:26 pm PDT #3638 of 10001
Thanks for all the fish.
At this point connie is just being mean!
Connie Neil - Apr 22, 2003 10:42:24 pm PDT #3639 of 10001
brillig
Elena, you sound surprised. t blink, blink, evil grin