I still lurve "cold enough to freeze the bollocks off a brass monkey" best, though.

We always just got the "as a witches tit".

Your one is better.

Yup, the "brass monkeys" is a very UK riff. The cockneys use it.

A poof is short for poofter.

Okay, but pouf is prettier.

Okay, but pouf is prettier.

I wouldn't mind putting my back out trying to assume odd sitting positions on either Spike or Angel.

I love days like this, when there are so damn many damn good stories/drabbles/parts of stories posted. Great Jobs ita, Dana, Connie, Elena, Theodosia, and Plei (I hope I didn't forget anyone)

I hope I didn't forget anyone

::cough::

Eesh

And Deb, and Deena, and SA.

I guess my brain just got overloaded with too much good stuff.

Hee.

No prob, Perkins. Those are the best kinds of overload.

Grinning now, Plei.

I love a rested muse. Xander going after Joyce and Buffy

"Evenin', folks," he said as he walked into the kitchen. "Everybody's on board, we're just waiting on the Slayer and her mom."

Buffy looked sternly at her mother. "I've got all your stuff packed, mom. Time to go."

Joyce sighed. "Buffy, be sensible--"

Xander went to her side. "Is there anything I can carry for you, Mrs. Summers? Maybe I can give you a hand getting out to the bus?" His smile was polite but firm.

Buffy gaped at him, then grinned. Joyce stared at him. "Xander, you're not suggesting--"

"No, really, no trouble at all. I'd be delighted to give you all the help you need getting out there."

There was a flash of the old "I'm the Mom of the Slayer and I took an axe to Spike once and I can take you on, mister" spirit in her eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

"With the greatest of respect and consideration, I beg your pardon, Mrs. Summers, but, yes, I would." And he was trying very hard not to grin.

Joyce looked at Buffy. "Are you just going to sit there and let him . . . loom over me like this?"

"Mom, you always said that people should only pick on people their own size. He's bigger than me."

Xander wallowed in happy machismo for a moment. "Mrs. Summers, I'd be happy to just lend you a balancing arm, but, one way or another, you're coming along."

Joyce stared at the kitchen counter for several second, biting her lip and blinking rapidly. "All right," she said gruffly. She reached for a napkin and blew her nose. "Not nice to gang up on a helpless middled-aged lady."

"No, ma'am," Buffy agreed, fighting a teary grin of her own.

Joyce glared at the walker in the corner. "We'd best take that thing, I suppose."

Buffy hopped off the stool, went to the walker, and folded it neatly, tucking it under one arm. "I'll go get the bags and meet you on the bus."

Xander waited patiently till Joyce had herself under control, then held out an arm for her to balance on as she got to her feet. "What lights do you need turned off and should I make sure the stove's not on or anything?"

"You've done this family trip thing before, I see."

"Once," he said briefly. "It was memorable. But is there anything you need to take care of before we go?"

"Um, yes. Could you help me upstairs, please?"

After that interlude, Xander escorted her around the house, making sure everything was secured for an absence of several days. All doors were locked, all kitchen appliances were off, all lights were off or on timers. As they headed out the front door, Joyce paused and looked at Xander seriously. "Would you really have made me go?"

"Yes, ma'am, I would."

"Why?"

Xander glanced at the bus to make sure everyone was occupied. "Because I am not going to see that look of crazy worry on Buffy's face again if there's anything at all I can do about it." He smiled at Joyce. "Sorry."

She patted his arm. "You are a very nice man, Xander Harris. Let's go."

But just as they reached the bus, there was a sudden exodus from the vehicle, led by Dawn. "Me first! I have a key! Which is only appropriate." She ran past Xander and Joyce towards the house.

"Excuse me?" Joyce said, turning to watch.

Xander looked at the bus. Giles sat in the driver's seat, leaning on the wheel and very slowly beating his head against it. "What is it?"

Buffy bounced down the steps. "Willow asked if everyone had gone before we left and none of us had and we'll be right back."

Anya followed. "We won't be long." She kissed Xander's cheek in passing.

"We all do remember that we are on the run for our lives, don't we?" came an aggrieved voice from the driver's seat.

"I can't run on a full bladder, Giles," Willow said as she led Tara down the steps. "Be right back."