Yup, the "brass monkeys" is a very UK riff. The cockneys use it.

A poof is short for poofter.

Okay, but pouf is prettier.

Okay, but pouf is prettier.

I wouldn't mind putting my back out trying to assume odd sitting positions on either Spike or Angel.

I love days like this, when there are so damn many damn good stories/drabbles/parts of stories posted. Great Jobs ita, Dana, Connie, Elena, Theodosia, and Plei (I hope I didn't forget anyone)

I hope I didn't forget anyone

::cough::

Eesh

And Deb, and Deena, and SA.

I guess my brain just got overloaded with too much good stuff.

Hee.

No prob, Perkins. Those are the best kinds of overload.

Grinning now, Plei.

I love a rested muse. Xander going after Joyce and Buffy

"Evenin', folks," he said as he walked into the kitchen. "Everybody's on board, we're just waiting on the Slayer and her mom."

Buffy looked sternly at her mother. "I've got all your stuff packed, mom. Time to go."

Joyce sighed. "Buffy, be sensible--"

Xander went to her side. "Is there anything I can carry for you, Mrs. Summers? Maybe I can give you a hand getting out to the bus?" His smile was polite but firm.

Buffy gaped at him, then grinned. Joyce stared at him. "Xander, you're not suggesting--"

"No, really, no trouble at all. I'd be delighted to give you all the help you need getting out there."

There was a flash of the old "I'm the Mom of the Slayer and I took an axe to Spike once and I can take you on, mister" spirit in her eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

"With the greatest of respect and consideration, I beg your pardon, Mrs. Summers, but, yes, I would." And he was trying very hard not to grin.

Joyce looked at Buffy. "Are you just going to sit there and let him . . . loom over me like this?"

"Mom, you always said that people should only pick on people their own size. He's bigger than me."

Xander wallowed in happy machismo for a moment. "Mrs. Summers, I'd be happy to just lend you a balancing arm, but, one way or another, you're coming along."

Joyce stared at the kitchen counter for several second, biting her lip and blinking rapidly. "All right," she said gruffly. She reached for a napkin and blew her nose. "Not nice to gang up on a helpless middled-aged lady."

"No, ma'am," Buffy agreed, fighting a teary grin of her own.

Joyce glared at the walker in the corner. "We'd best take that thing, I suppose."

Buffy hopped off the stool, went to the walker, and folded it neatly, tucking it under one arm. "I'll go get the bags and meet you on the bus."

Xander waited patiently till Joyce had herself under control, then held out an arm for her to balance on as she got to her feet. "What lights do you need turned off and should I make sure the stove's not on or anything?"

"You've done this family trip thing before, I see."

"Once," he said briefly. "It was memorable. But is there anything you need to take care of before we go?"

"Um, yes. Could you help me upstairs, please?"

After that interlude, Xander escorted her around the house, making sure everything was secured for an absence of several days. All doors were locked, all kitchen appliances were off, all lights were off or on timers. As they headed out the front door, Joyce paused and looked at Xander seriously. "Would you really have made me go?"

"Yes, ma'am, I would."

"Why?"

Xander glanced at the bus to make sure everyone was occupied. "Because I am not going to see that look of crazy worry on Buffy's face again if there's anything at all I can do about it." He smiled at Joyce. "Sorry."

She patted his arm. "You are a very nice man, Xander Harris. Let's go."

But just as they reached the bus, there was a sudden exodus from the vehicle, led by Dawn. "Me first! I have a key! Which is only appropriate." She ran past Xander and Joyce towards the house.

"Excuse me?" Joyce said, turning to watch.

Xander looked at the bus. Giles sat in the driver's seat, leaning on the wheel and very slowly beating his head against it. "What is it?"

Buffy bounced down the steps. "Willow asked if everyone had gone before we left and none of us had and we'll be right back."

Anya followed. "We won't be long." She kissed Xander's cheek in passing.

"We all do remember that we are on the run for our lives, don't we?" came an aggrieved voice from the driver's seat.

"I can't run on a full bladder, Giles," Willow said as she led Tara down the steps. "Be right back."

Spike trailed the exodus down the steps. "No," Xander said, "you cannot be headed back into the house."

"Don't be stupid," Spike sneered. "Need a hand, love?" he asked Joyce.

"I have one, but thank you." She looked at the bus steps, though, and frowned.

"Right," Spike nodded. "Harris, hop on and catch."

"Excuse me?" Joyce protested. Xander shrugged and ran up the steps.

"Mind your head," Spike grinned, then he carefully put his hands on Joyce's waist and lifted her up the steps. Xander caught her flailing hands and helped steady her as she got her footing on the bus floor. Spike followed up the steps. "Right, then. Get the 'Wait Til The Last Minute' girls back on board, and we're out of here."

"Finally," Giles muttered. "It's just as well Willow brought Tara, this has taken much longer than I expected." He glanced at the sky. "It'll be dawn in a few hours."

Spike patted him on the shoulder. "That's why we painted those windows in back."

Xander looked out the windows. "Hey, they're coming back, that was quick."

"A female record," Giles muttered, but he fired up the engine. "All aboard, ladies. Xander, Spike, sit down, please."

Everyone piled on, and Dawn dropped next to Joyce on the front seat. "And we turned off the bathroom light," she said, "and the door's locked and everything secure."

"Thank you, dear."

Buffy was the last to board. She paused on the step and looked around the neighborhood. For all the field trip foolishness, she hadn't forgotten that they were, as Giles said, on the run for their lives. She didn't see anyone watching, but that meant little. So long as they were free and on the move, they were safe.

She climbed on board and pushed the handle that closed the door. "I guess we're ready," she told Giles.

"Finally." He put the bus in gear and pulled away from the curb.

Buffy looked over everyone. Willow and Tara shared a seat, and Tara was laying down with her head in Willow's lap. Xander was in the seat right behind Anya and hanging over her seat back, watching everything. Spike had taken the spot right behind Joyce and Dawn for now, and he was scanning everyone as well. He caught Buffy watching him and nodded briefly before continuing his observations.

Sighing she dropped into the front seat right behind Giles. "It's too late to worry about whether this is the right thing to do, right?"

"I'm afraid so, Buffy. But for what it's worth, I think this is the wisest strategy."

"Where are we going?"

"North for now, then east. I know a place in the hills several hours away. Get some sleep while you can, Spike and I will keep watch."

"Sleep, sure."

"Try, at least."

"Fine, fine. By the way, you should turn the headlights on. I don't want to explain all of us to the cops."

"Oh, yes, right, I forgot."

She stayed where she was, hanging over the railing behind him and watching the road as they ran away.