SA

First off, the original story was really quite good. I'm shamefully glad that I didn't have that problem (oh, my, I'm an unpleasant person).

You stand stock still in a room that is soft to the touch,

I don't know if this was your intent, but I find that incredibly creepy.

You've never been afraid of spiders, but you think you're going to start.

This I really like. It sounds like Faith.

There's another flash from your dream, of one bigass spider that reeks of the familiar scent called "evil."

This is fine, but I think I'd prefer the simplicity of 'that reeks of the familiar scent of evil'. 'Cause I'm simple.

More than anything in this hole you relive every moment you had with her, every second close to her, every time she smiled at you and you shared something no one in the fucking world could take away from you. Even when things were shitty you two were tighter than anything. You got to her, and you know not many people have that privilege.

I really like this, and what's more I think that it's really true. It's a take on their relationship that I think is unexplored.

You're trapped again, only this time it feels like the dreamworld has come crashing into reality 'cause you feel a hand over your mouth and you tense at the viselike grip and you can smell some froufy hand lotion and if you just squint a little in the dark you can almost see--
--a blonde chick, and you blanche 'cause you're so sick of blondes, but this isn't Buffy, it's someone way the fuck different, with hours-to-fix curls and thin, evil eyebrows and a big red mouth that curves in a smile you can feel deep inside of you.

I like this. It sounds like Faith and it's a damn good description of the creeping evil that was Glory… Or that should have been Glory.

And then your metaphors take a more literal turn and you buck backwards under a terrifying grip as a tongue pushes inside of you with no pretense of pleasure. You're trapped again, in a new way, under this devouring, and your own words ring in your head and wanting, taking, having, and this thing, this whatever seems to be taking that idea to heart.

Oh, this is nice. This is very nice.

You wake up, shuddering again, and you wonder if maybe you can get some kind of anti-sleeping pill because it seems more often than not you're shocked awake by some fucking dream and you're sick of it.

I really like this - the anti-sleeping pill.

and you wish you didn't have such shitty luck with Watchers 'cause one would be damn helpful right about now.

Your Faith voice is fantastic. It really is.

weirdoes

Is that how you spell this? Huh. Looks funny. SA, I can't say enough about your Faith voice. It's dead on. I really enjoyed this. You took the original story - which was very good - and made it your own by changing the POV. Second person? Is that right? Whichever, it's perfect. The voice never falters and the imagery - though it's the same as in the original story - is somehow fresh and different. I don't quite know how you managed it, but it's wonderful.

As for titles... Hmm... 'Rise' is good - I like simple... But maybe a play on the nursery rhyme?

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider,
and sat down beside her
and frightened MIss Muffet away.

So... Too bad 'Along Came a Spider' was taken... Beside Her? Um... Away? What the Hell is a Tuffet, Anyway?

A tuffet's a small round ottomany thing, IIRC.

I loved the Faith-voice too, but I had to get past the spiders. Not easy, that.

Oh, yes, I know, but I think that 'What the Hell is a Tuffet, Anyway?' would be a nice Faithy title.

SA, I can't say enough about your Faith voice. It's dead on. I really enjoyed this.

Thanks, both of you. Plei wants me to write Faith backstory, but I keep shying away.

Second person? Is that right?

Yup. I'm having an affair with the second person. I'm making it my bitch.

As for titles... Hmm... 'Rise' is good - I like simple... But maybe a play on the nursery rhyme?

Well, I've already sent it in with that title, but thanks for the thought.

"Weirdoes" is how I've seen it written in books, so I figured that's how it's spelled. I don't like it either, but hey. Them's words for ya.

I really appreciate your words, Elena. Bitch comments mean more than feedback, to me. Where did you go on AIM, by the way?

Oh, I crashed, big time. I mentioned in Bitches.

You sent it in? Good. I hope Victoria gets them all so we can see all the stories. I'm very nervous about who is rewriting me. I didn't pick a safe story.

'What the Hell is a Tuffet, Anyway?'

Anya could have fun with that, as well.....

I think Anya's take on it would be 'Tuffet Sounds Like a Euphemism For Sex'.

I could pick three safe stories, but I only got one.

Elena, you know I have 51 archived stories now? That's so crazed.

"and Xander offered to let me sit on his lap, but then there was something about spiders and honestly, kinky, that's fine, but spiders? And what the hell is a tuffet, anyway...?"

51? Damn... I have... uh... 10?