Now I'm torn! Do I return the sharpener and trade it in for a honing steel?

Do I keep it and get the steel as well?

Do I say "eff it" and just put the knives away by jamming them point first into a wall stud????

I JUST DON'T KNOW!

I only own cheap knives. Which is just as well, because when they get dull, I've been known to use them to clean grout or as a screwdriver. Best to do that with something cheap.

Okay. That was weird. I had a huge post written up and when I hit post I somehow got logged out of the board it and the post vanished. Blargh.

So, in short, thanks to everyone for their sympathy and advice and my company could have been far more evil than they were (they're keeping me on the books for the 9 weeks they're paying me, including insurance.) As f-ed up as the situation was and is, it could be much worse.

Seriously, as much as I love the man, he's as guilty of repeating shit he's heard as anyone. And in matters where AB and ATK differ, ATK wins because I know they've actually tested all the options.

(ATK recommends electric sharpeners if you can afford one, and manual sharpeners over honing steels.)

I have a sharpener [link] made by the same people who made my good knives, which live in their sheaths in a drawer. My crappier knives live in a block. I was given a couple of good knives that didn't come with sheaths - those live on a magnetic rack with the kitchen shears.

I am, however, not a member of the cult of Alton Brown. So, you know, whatever.

I feel like such an outsider. I don't buy nice knives, and what knives I do have never get sharpened. I just saw at things till they come apart.

And yet, I still manage to gouge chunks out of my fingernails and/or thumbs on a regular basis. So, they're clearly sharp enough.

not a member of the cult of Alton Brown.

hissssssssss hissssssssssssss hisssssssssssssss

I'll melt you with this bucket o'brine!!!

You definitely write better cover letters than Laurell K. Hamilton, shrift.

I... take that as a compliment? My cover letters are grammatically correct, and don't involve any sexual exploits with the undead or my emo pain re: negative reviews.

What a world, what a world.

Honestly, from what y'all say about him, I would have guessed that AB would be right up my alley, but his thing on NPR about making eggnog really turned me off.

And yet, I still manage to gouge chunks out of my fingernails and/or thumbs on a regular basis. So, they're clearly sharp enough.

Actually, dull knives are far more likely to slip and cause this kind of injury. A really sharp knife will go where you tell it to, and not veer off into your knuckles.