Is a monkey helper the same thing as a helper monkey? Anyway, here are the TSA guidelines for those traveling with monkey helpers:

• Since monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on. Only the handler will touch or interact with the monkey.

• TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.

• TSOs will conduct a visual inspection on the monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.

• The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection.

[link]

So... No touching of the monkey then?

Nope. But sometimes they touch dogs:

• If the dog alarms the WTMD, the TSO will ask the PWD’s permission and assistance before they touch the dog and its belongings. The TSO will then perform a hand inspection of the dog and its belongings (collar, harness, leash, backpack, vest, etc.) The belongings will not be removed from the dog at any time.

Vest? Apparently jet-setting dogs are often well-dressed.

Wonder if TSOs are trained to deal with helper ponies?

I've been awake most of the night plagued by thoughts of death. I am not, to my knowledge, immenently dying. I finally decided to come hang out with Buffistas to distract my wild-monkey mind.

JZ, thanks for the link to Tints of Nature. Ever since this little endocrine system problem of mine started, my hair has been getting thinner and finer and receding, oh god. It kills me, because it was so thick and strong, and I want it back. But it looks like it's starting to come back, as I get healthier. But! I've been looking for a natural hair color that won't make the problem worse, as bleaching and dying my hair red this past summer seemed to do. Now I'm dyed back to my natural dark and letting the gray grow out, and I'm not entirely pleased with that look.

Pardon my babbly. I'm short on sleep and really shouldn't do caffeine anymore. At least until my body's working right again. Then I can start messing it up all over again!

Also, rooibos.

Lee, it's probably not as good as from a British grocery, but Celestial Seasonings makes two flavors of rooibos. I found them at Wild Oats, but not at my local (boring) grocery.

I don't think my TJs carries rooibos.

Reference question left on voice mail overnight: "I want some information about John F. Kennedy. He was from England, right? Like, London? Also, did he have any military experience?"

Dear Patron, Just because JFK had a funny accent doesn't mean he was from England. There's this place in the north called Boston where they talk like that. (Also, foreign-born people can't be President. And yes, he was in World War 2, like most men of his age. He was kind of a hero, in fact; see the PT-109 incident.)

I want to go with Lee to Seattle and Portland. but it has to be in the next month or so. So I guess I don't go. Sad now.

flea, please tell me that caller was from Mars or something.

vest

tommyrot, the dogs in training who will be companion dogs of some kind often wear a vest, but I like to think of it as a cape. Then they are more super dogs then dogs-in-training.

flea, couldn't a foreign-born person of two US citizens still be president? Which is not to say that the caller isn't stupid, but just curious.

Not flea, but

U.S. Constitution, Article II, Section 1, Paragraph 5:

No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

Seems to say that you just have to be born a citizen. Location of birth not an issue.