Hm. I would go short and nasty, because, I am all about the nasty. And, emphasize the financial component of your decision.

Dear [company],

Please do not send us any further catalogs until you have discovered what kinds of images are appropriate for the cover of a catalog selling [mumblewhatevers]. Hint: scantily-clad woman is not the right answer, not just because women do exist in the sciences but because scientists in my department, both male and female, would be terribly embarrassed to receive such a catalog.

They will not be receiving it. I will not be distributing your catalog and will not be processing any orders from same until such time as you improve your sense of propriety and politics. I will be ordering from your competitors, who at the very least demonstrate an iota of tact.

Also: the 21st century is a great place to be. Please find your way there soonest.

no love, Allyson.

Congrats, amych!

Speaking of laundrey, I once had people dumping my non-dry clothes out of the dryer while I was at the laundromat, and standing right there! People are craxy about dryers.

And I have some sort of bug in my stomach. I keep thinking I am better, but alas, I am not. And I want to go help my friend's sister-in-law do some work for her business (custom invitations), because she has a bog client and she is behind, but I am not sure if I am up for it after work, after eating almost nothing except saltines for 3 days.

Oh, how brilliant it would have been!

I have no doubt that it would have been both brilliant and flammable!

Speaking of laundrey, I once had people dumping my non-dry clothes out of the dryer while I was at the laundromat, and standing right there! People are craxy about dryers.

When I was in college, there was this woman that we called Laundry Bitch. I swear that she would haunt the dryer. The second it clicked off, she was taking your stuff out. I remember sitting there once, the dryer stopped, I stood up, and there she was. I said, very loudly, "EXCUSE me, do you think that you could at least wait until the dryer stopped spinning before you yank my clothes out" She was embarrassed, and apologetic. Not that I think that stopped her in the future, of course.

I'm a secretary (specifics redacted). I handle a considerable number of purchase orders for optical instruments in support of my group. This morning I was sorting through some catalogues that just arrived, and found one with a photo of a barefoot woman, in a short skirt and plunging neckline, trying to sell optical equipment to me. The catalogue bears your company’s name.

I am not distributing this catalogue. I am assuming that this cover was placed on your catalogue through some oversight or as the result of a prank that was perpetrated on your company by the printer. Please forward to me a catalogue with a cover which is appropriate for this and your other clients’ workplaces – one which would not cause the recipients to be embarrassed to have such catalogues seen on their desks.

Oh, I vote for Narrator's version (depending on her fee; there's always a fee).

Good one Narrator. I like all the responses but hers is spot on with the not!overt snark and simplicity. I love the 'you obviously didn't mean to do/say that' rejoinder.

The state of Utah has recently revamped the sales tax on food rules. If it's prepared food, it gets the full sales tax, but if it's not considered prepared, it gets a lower rate. How do you khow it's "prepared"? It has a utensil with it. Therefore, if you buy a salad and you pick up a fork, then you get a higher tax. If you have your own fork in your pocket, then you get the lower tax.

Why didn't they just repeal the sales tax on food? Because how else would Utah maintain its Billion (with a B) budget surplus?

Please forward to me a catalogue with a cover which is appropriate for this and your other clients’ workplaces – one which would not cause the recipients to be embarrassed to have such catalogues seen on their desks.

Please forward to me a catalogue with a cover which is appropriate for this and your other clients’ workplaces – one which would not cause your representatives to have lethal accidents involving paper clips and Post-it notes.

Therefore, if you buy a salad and you pick up a fork, then you get a higher tax. If you have your own fork in your pocket, then you get the lower tax.

When I was a cashier, NYS had the same rule, however, it didn't have to do with forks, it had to do with whether the food was made in the deli or not. Are you sure the fork thing isn't some crazed cashier. We also had tax on the "Pop and Candy" department, but not on the Grocery department. Large Marshmallows were considered baking items and not taxed, and mini-marshmallows were considered candy and were taxed. Also, there was some difference in tax between periodicals and books that caught the Harlequin Romances, because at the time there was a date on them, but I can't remember which way it went. I thought all those problems would go away once there were scanners, though.