I avoid the problem by drinking beer or wine at home. Though wine involves a glass, which is a dish to wash. (I refuse to drink wine out of the bottle, because even though I can eat a whole family-size box of Oreos in one sitting, there's just something unseemly about drinking a nicely aged cabernet right out of its bottle.)

And I am going to have to agree with bon bon, at least when the gimlets are made by me. I LIKE the Rose's.

In other news, now I have the special events assistant sitting outside my office door, and she's making follow-up calls to some invitations we sent out. Practically everyone she's calling is Someone, and I can tell she has no clue who any of them are. It's kind of funny, really.

Pete makes all the cocktails?

I'm going to tell him you said that, missy.

But no, I'm the drink-concoctor in the household. Last night's Tasty Beverage was vanilla vodka spiked with sweet carob balsamic vinegar. It smelled exactly like perfume I'd wear. It tasted pretty good, too.

But they aren't made better by being put in a glass!

Yes, they are. They need to be over ice. Are you shoving crushed ice into your Diet Vanilla Coke too?

Rum and coke is made better by adding a lime, but then you have three ingredients! Is what I was getting at.

It takes exactly three minutes to put ice in a glass, put in your shot (or two) of rum, and squeeze a lime into it. When you are finished you have a beautiful and satisfying drink, and your parents aren't ashamed of you when they come over unexpectedly and catch you swigging vodka out of your Diet Vanilla Coke like a teenager at a high school football game.

It takes exactly three minutes to put ice in a glass, put in your shot (or two) of rum, and squeeze a lime into it.

But then, once your dishes have built up, it takes 100 thousand minutes to work up the effort to wash them. Dishes suck.

It takes exactly three minutes to put ice in a glass, put in your shot (or two) of rum, and squeeze a lime into it.

That presupposes having ice and limes in the house, and then creates both a glass and a knife to wash.

I never did that. I suppose it's not too late.

antique implements

Pete makes all the cocktails?

Aimée: ON THE LIST.

When you are finished you have a beautiful and satisfying drink, and your parents aren't ashamed of you when they come over unexpectedly and catch you swigging vodka out of your Diet Vanilla Coke like a teenager at a high school football game.

Oh, also, I truly have no shame. It was less than a year ago that I was hustling my boyfriend out of bed and out of my house because my parents showed up when I wasn't expecting them.