{{{JZ}}} Next time, sweetie, CALL. Okay? One of us will swoop in, no problem. If you need Deb & me to swoop tonight, we can.

It's especially acceptable to put them down and walk away if you feel like there is any possibility that you will throw them out the window.

I came closer to that today than I ever have before. There's still a vast, vast gulf between the feeling and the actual possibility, but it felt like I was holding my shit together with spit and cheap-ass generic dental floss.

Hec just handed me a vodka tonic and is now making me a poppyseed bagel tuna melt.

eta: juliana, the immediate crisis is fading in the presence of tasty alcohol and melting cheese, but you may get pinged for swoopage another day (you, too, Lee! And any other localista foolish enough to volunteer for same!). And you're welcome to swoop anytime anyhow, just 'cause it can be hard to get out of the house and we are greedy for your company.

JZ, just let me know if I can help whenever.

If you want to feel better, do not do what I've just done and read the Dear Santa letters in livejournal. I thought they would be goofy and make me laugh. But really? It's rough out there, y'all.Honestly, strip away the red and green and icons and they remind me of reading letters from jail.(Not content so much, but people in lock-up are not used to getting a chance to tell their stories so they have years of saved-up stuff to say with nobody to tell it to...not usually a problem for me, you'll notice.) But the millions of sad stories in the naked city, uh, planet is not something a Wire fiend needs reminding of, exactly. Sigh.

I'm cross-posting this from my LJ because I think it might make you all giggle, and there's nothing bad about that, is there?

Me: Nick, I guess you ought to be gay!
Nick: Because...?
Me: Dr. Dobson. Someone posted a link. I should have made you gay, what with the unnatural maternal bond with no man to break it, and the no strong male role model to bang pegs into holes and roughhouse, like he wouldn't with a daughter, and teach you to throw, like he wouldn't with a daughter...
Greg: Oh, yeah, and because I didn't take you into the shower with me and show you my penis.
Me: Yeah, you were supposed to see that yours is bigger than Greg's or, no, that his is bigger than yours...something.
Greg: I guess I asked for that.
Nick: Um...?
Kara (GF): Huh? What?
Kara (ours): I Have 100% PENIS.
All of us: thinking, "oh shit."
Kara: arms spread wide I HAVE THE BIGGEST PENIS IN THE WORLD.
Greg: We're in trouble now.
Me: sotto voce Not until she tells her teacher that hers is bigger than his.
Kara: Oh, I won't tell my teacher. I'll keep it a secret.
Greg: At least we have two weeks before the shit hits the fan.
Me: Maybe she'll forget.

Now I have to go deal with our large-penised daughter. She wants the glue.

Deena - just saw that over there - BWAH!!!!!

JZ - I'm around on the weekends and am often looking for a reason to run away. Plus, I still have yet to snuggle that darling one.

My father used to totally feel comfortable talking to me from the bathtub. Then I grew breasts and he was never comfortable talking to me again, ever. Maybe that's why I'm straight(ish) but not always that happy about it.

Deena -- omg! I'm just laughing.

wrod. JZ, I was totally like that my whole babyhood long. My mother was thinking she should take me back, I had colic so much. (My stomach still gets weird on a dime, too.) But we did recover.

My usual reaction to Kara: Oh, dear. Forgive me for saying she's delightful--at a distance.

So my porn tastes are going to hold over and affect my reactions to real life? Does this mean I'm going to go up to the next pair of hot guys I see and say "Why don't you kiss each other? If shirts came off, that would be a plus."