I'm cross-posting this from my LJ because I think it might make you all giggle, and there's nothing bad about that, is there?

Me: Nick, I guess you ought to be gay!
Nick: Because...?
Me: Dr. Dobson. Someone posted a link. I should have made you gay, what with the unnatural maternal bond with no man to break it, and the no strong male role model to bang pegs into holes and roughhouse, like he wouldn't with a daughter, and teach you to throw, like he wouldn't with a daughter...
Greg: Oh, yeah, and because I didn't take you into the shower with me and show you my penis.
Me: Yeah, you were supposed to see that yours is bigger than Greg's or, no, that his is bigger than yours...something.
Greg: I guess I asked for that.
Nick: Um...?
Kara (GF): Huh? What?
Kara (ours): I Have 100% PENIS.
All of us: thinking, "oh shit."
Kara: arms spread wide I HAVE THE BIGGEST PENIS IN THE WORLD.
Greg: We're in trouble now.
Me: sotto voce Not until she tells her teacher that hers is bigger than his.
Kara: Oh, I won't tell my teacher. I'll keep it a secret.
Greg: At least we have two weeks before the shit hits the fan.
Me: Maybe she'll forget.

Now I have to go deal with our large-penised daughter. She wants the glue.

Deena - just saw that over there - BWAH!!!!!

JZ - I'm around on the weekends and am often looking for a reason to run away. Plus, I still have yet to snuggle that darling one.

My father used to totally feel comfortable talking to me from the bathtub. Then I grew breasts and he was never comfortable talking to me again, ever. Maybe that's why I'm straight(ish) but not always that happy about it.

Deena -- omg! I'm just laughing.

wrod. JZ, I was totally like that my whole babyhood long. My mother was thinking she should take me back, I had colic so much. (My stomach still gets weird on a dime, too.) But we did recover.

My usual reaction to Kara: Oh, dear. Forgive me for saying she's delightful--at a distance.

So my porn tastes are going to hold over and affect my reactions to real life? Does this mean I'm going to go up to the next pair of hot guys I see and say "Why don't you kiss each other? If shirts came off, that would be a plus."

Does this mean I'm going to go up to the next pair of hot guys I see and say "Why don't you kiss each other? If shirts came off, that would be a plus."

I'd pay you five dollars to take a picture of it, Connie.

Next time, sweetie, CALL. Okay? One of us will swoop in, no problem.

Seconded/thirded/fourthed/whatevered. I am actually going into the city tonight, but down in the Mission. For latkes!

And I must be off, as I'm transporting a friend! I am trying to give rides as much as possible to make up for the years and years of asking other people for rides.

I'd pay you five dollars to take a picture of it, Connie.

This is how the porn industry got started, isn't it?

Huh.

Lee, I think you're right.