I admire the judge for taking consideration for EM's relationship with Aidan. Sounds like he told EMEX to fucking grow up and be an adult with regards to EM for the sake of his child.
That said, I'm glad EM's considering a security system and self-defense. It sucks to be victimized (and to top it off with ass surgery).
I'm completely fucking whipped. DH felt worse instead of better today with his sinus infection (or it could have been the medication knocking him out). But he crawled back into bed this afternoon and pretty much stayed there most of the night. He was awake when I put the kids down for their nap and trekked to the grocery store but ducked back in bed while I fed the kids and got them ready for bed.
I've just been juggling the kids all day and night AND trying to clean for houseguests and shop and plan for the meal on Friday.
And my back's flared up again.
"It doesn't matter. Everybody is justified. Everybody is a hero in the movie in their own head. That's how I play every character."
Which explains part of why he is scary as fuck. And why people we used to love and trust can be scary as well.
I also acquainted her with the notion of Negative Intimacy, which is a big part of the classic divorce guidebook Mom's House, Dad's House. In essence, after a breakup all the intimacy you had with somebody passes through the mirror and instead of being a positive source of emotional sharing and strength, is exploited as a weakness.
I hadn't heard of this. [Insert gratitude that I am a child of a truly amicable divorce and send flowers to all my parents while I am at it.] It makes a lot of sense though. In that I understand, not that it makes a damn bit of actual sense.
I wish her all of the strength and support in the world. And I hope that EMex comes to his senses and just fades away.
Oh, god. I'm so sorry, David, and to EM too. The alarm system is a wonderful idea. Much peace and strength and wisdom~ma to you all.
In essence, after a breakup all the intimacy you had with somebody passes through the mirror and instead of being a positive source of emotional sharing and strength, is exploited as a weakness.
Whoo, I can testify to that. Gods, David, I'm so sorry that it's not over for EM, but I hope the judge's instincts were correct.
I admire the judge for taking consideration for EM's relationship with Aidan.
Me too. She has no legal right to a relationship with Aidan, but she's actually been in his life much longer than his own mother.
I advised her to just wait until she felt safer before she tried to initiate some kind of visitation with Aidan. At least three or four months.
David, to try to cheer you, I got my hair cut tonight. I'll make sure we get a picture tomorrow.
After our wedding, EM took a bunch of the snapshots and put magnetic tape on the back of them. And the ones of my friends are on my fridge and the ones of her friends are still on her fridge. When I was at her house today, I was looking at pictures of Aidan's Mom - one of her bridesmaids. Alive and healthy and strong and cool and the absolute center of her family. And I just kept talking to the picture of Aidan's Mom: "Be there for Aidan. Talk to EMEX. Hit him upside the head. Intervene. Please."
I advised her to just wait until she felt safer before she tried to initiate some kind of visitation with Aidan. At least three or four months.
How old is Aidan again? Can she maybe email or phone him before doing the mediated visitation? I agree that she should wait until she's comfortable and safe. But I would worry he's feeling abandoned if he can't quite gronk the adult craziness his dad's pulling. He's aware of what's going on, yes?
David, to try to cheer you, I got my hair cut tonight. I'll make sure we get a picture tomorrow.
Right on! That does cheer me. A cool cropped Bug is a sexy thing.
How old is Aidan again? Can she maybe email or phone him before doing the mediated visitation? I agree that she should wait until she's comfortable and safe. But I would worry he's feeling abandoned if he can't quite gronk the adult craziness his dad's pulling. He's aware of what's going on, yes?
Aidan is 12. They tried the emails. EMEX intercepted all the emails and was poisoning the well with Aidan. Aidan would write back saying, "My Dad says he's not keeping me away from you - that you just have to talk to him." In short, EMEX was using Aidan as leverage.
Not good.
when my friend went to the public defender, the exact advice she got was "Mrs. Murphy, don't fuck up."
So, Hec, I believe that base is probably covered.
