I'm going to drive you all nuts today because I am stuck in bed and bored.

{{Nora}} I know you'll handle it well.

I wish I had that faith. I was sobbing in yoga. I'm composing mean emails to her in my head that I of course will never send. I'm hating her. I'm missing her horribly, missing the friend I've had for all these years. I feel like I failed her somehow, as if I had done or said the right thing at the right time then things would be different. I feel relieved that her horribleness has given me a free pass to exit her life. I'm hating me. I don't know what the right thing to do is, and I don't think I have the strength to do it, even if I did know what it was.

Christ. I'm sorry to be so memememe. I'm just having a hard time thinking of anything else here at work and am really trying to keep it together while I'm here.

{{{Nora}}} It's not your fault.

Nora, it's natural to feel so many ways at once, especially if it's a longstanding friendship. The thing is, even if she's sick and hurting, you're part of the equation, too, and getting nasty emails hurts no matter what. Don't do anything until you feel you're ready, and in the meantime don't beat yourself up for feeling more than one way about it. It's not a black-and-white situation by a longshot.

Sending lots of health~ma to SA's friend.

Nora, insent in a minute.

Nora, hon, maybe you could type out what the anger ball part of you would REALLY like to say to her right now. Let go of some of that anger by typing it all out and not holding back even a little bit. Act as if you're actually going to send it by re-reading it a few times for flow and content and changing whatever you feel needs changed. And then delete it. Or save it in a What I'd Really Like To Say Right Now folder and delete it next week.

That's what I've had to do in the past in order to move beyond the anger. It usually tends to help.

Oh, and {{{Nora}}}!

{{{SA}}}

{{{Kristin}}}

{{{Bitches}}}

Good news: the lovely ergomatic chair I ordered has arrived. YAY!

Bad news: I have to put it together and tehre are no instuctions. BOO!

Worst news: the other admins are giving me stinkeye because I have a new chair. ::whimper::

{{{{{{{{Nora}}}}}}}}}