Aimée looks great. I had a haircut today, myself, but I'm definitely not in her league.

vw, step away from the Lifetime movie. Step away from Lifetime altogether. Go to bed early and make me do that too.

I just started a piece of writing called, "No Longer a Doormat." Probably can't really say that. Never know when it's gonna bite you in the ass.

That's a scary doormat.

but I'm definitely not in her league

Pshaw. Are so.

You know, Hec. I feel you should know that I'm now in hysterics. It's not all your fault, but a lot of it is.

t paragraph removed because of graphic content

There are certain things you learn in life. I know you've learned that you need to be realistic about situations, and I get that. So, I'm sure you'll understand when I say that I've learned how to read when people give me the creeps. I've been wrong before, and I know I'll be wrong again. But you do learn things when you've been in extreme situations that change your life and the way you look at people.

I'm lucky I'm alive today, and I have sworn to myself that I will never let anyone do that to me again. Ever. So, I watch for that Bland Facade, and I'm really, really careful. So, I'm sure you'll better understand now why it shakes me up a bit to know that someone I trusted...someone that I trusted with the wellbeing of my brother...someone who inspired my brother to do what he's doing now...has done the very thing I most look out for.

And now, I really am going to bed. This post will probably disappear in the morning when I regret saying it. But, for now, it's here.

You know, Hec. I feel you should know that I'm now in hysterics. It's not all your fault, but a lot of it is.

I'm sorry to upset you, vw, but I really don't think my comment could be construed as that provocative. And I'm really sorry you've had so much horror and trauma in your life, but I'm still not going to take responsibility for your hysterics.

So, I'm sure you'll better understand now why it shakes me up a bit to know that someone I trusted...

I get that. But my comment only intended to reinforce what you already observed - that you can't look at somebody and know their capacity for evil. You can't. It may be a comforting illusion for you to have, but it's a dangerous one.

VW, I think you woud see some signs now, butit sounds like he was never a threat to your brother. The reason I am positive you would see them is that the signs are there. And you now have trained yourself to pay attention to your instincts. But if a person is not a threat- there would be no signs ot see. That's why a number of people in our local Catholic Church are angry with a family. the Family suffered when one of the boys was abused by a much loved priest, but some people still don't believe it. He was not a threat to all the boys, or even all the alter boys, just some.

one of my friends escaped from an abusive marriage after the birth of a third child. Years passed, and she was living in a safe sane evironment. Started dateing a guy. very charming. he liked her kids, her kids liked him. But he got extreamely possesive. made her very uncomforable. She broke it off with him. 3 months later he killed his ex girlfriend. My friend felt bad that she had ever dated him. Her instincts saved her, so she did learn. So I think she did good.

Abusers are often very charming - it might take more than one meeting, but you'll know.

What made you think you had that psychic power in the first place?

you don't think that's provocative?

Not to be persnickety

Right. If you hadn't meant to be persnickety, you could have just said, "I'm so sorry that something like that has happened to someone in your family. That must really suck a lot." instead of poking at her. I mean seriously, are you so bored on a Saturday night that you can't even dig up some semblance of empathy for a suck-ass situation that someone is in?

It came off as pretty mean and intentionally provoking to me.

Hec, sorry to add to the dog pile, but I have to agree with Aimee and beth. Whether or not you were out of line in your first post, you definitely were in your second.

"I'm so sorry that something like that has happened to someone in your family. That must really suck a lot."

eta: Yeah, a little pile-y but I still think it should be mentioned, so I am not inclined to just delete.