Working backward:

1) Victor, do it. Whatever will get it in the public eye in whatever forum while it's timely is the thing to do. It may gather its own reputation and public demand may see a print run. As you're very aware, timeliness matters. Once it's in public domain, it can, and more likely will, remain so, even when it is no longer quite so currently relevant.

2) Deena. I am so there. What Deb said about your locating the reader. Absolutely. Not a word in there that wasn't needed, that didn't do its work. Lovely, evocative, lean but substantive, and oh, so tantalizing. Want more.

If not about these characters, then more from you, at least.

3)

sometimes it feels like craft is all I've got.

Yes, this. I do character well. I write good, active dialogue that moves the story on, that doesn't devolve into rows of talking heads expositioning. I'm graceful and erudite and damned clever. And up until lately I'd been lucky because my characters told me where they wanted to go, and even when I tried a little direction, oftentimes they'd take off in some other unsuspected direction. Or my handsome antihero would have feet of clay up to his armpits, or my grubby, brusque and gravel-voiced heroine would do something girly, just to keep things interesting. But I always left the plot up to them because I've never really had a story to tell. Places I wanted to visit, sure, and adventures I wanted to experience. I can write in all five senses and put the reader in the pilot seat.

I just frelling can't find a story I want to tell. A very good writerly friend once told me "There are no new stories. Love. Quest. Revenge. Variations thereof. Pick one. " And my well-drawn characters lift their delicate eyebrows and yawn in boredom.

So I edit, and I workshop. And I lurk, and I hope that one day, that magical thing, story lights in my vicinity.

Oh Beverly, what a lovely thing to say, thank you. It feels quite magical to have written it. I'm already trying very hard to think of more, and I think I may just revisit the story I stuffed in the bottom of the mental file that I started with Am's assistance, if I don't come across something (new!) even shinier.

And my well-drawn characters lift their delicate eyebrows and yawn in boredom.

Yeah, I know that one. As far as the prose goes, I can do evocative, poetic, all that jazz. My characters (at their best, anyway) are real and fleshed-out and beautifully delineated. And nothing. Ever. Happens.

Sigh.

1. Deena. Nobody has a name. Okay. But the combination of narrating in first person and then jumping out to the distance of describing "the hand" and "the narrator"... just didn't sit right with me. You didn't place the "I" on me entirely, you kept pulling it back. So I kept being very aware that it's words on a page and that you're deliberately not telling me several things. If that makes any sense.

And the guy she bought the girl from - he thought he was cheated, but didn't try to stop her? Just seems odd, unless our narrator was imposing/dangerous/something.

As everyone's said more eloquently than me, good, clear, consistent voice and descriptions.

Just my opinion.

"There are no new stories. Love. Quest. Revenge. Variations thereof. Pick one."

Don't pick just one, I'd say. Create your own blend. Nothing happens in a vacuum.

Something I'm hoping happens this week away from phones and the net--a week out of time, sort of--is some intensive reading. I'm taking two notebooks, two legal pads (and the laptop), and a whole bagful of books. Not one "how to write" book. Lots of poetry, because I've gotten out of the habit of thinking in poetry. But, as well, some good fiction. And some bad but fun fiction. I plan to go swimming in words, possibly out beyond my depth.

And then we'll see what happens.

Hey Ms. H.; Thanks for your comments.

And the guy she bought the girl from - he thought he was cheated, but didn't try to stop her? Just seems odd, unless our narrator was imposing/dangerous/something.

Here, the implication was supposed to be that his protests were for form's sake more than anything, and that she's been a trader long enough to know the value of the trade. I'll have to look at that. There are some things I *know* so may not have included that I thought were there.

As for the narration, I'm not comfortable changing that. I have a feeling you know far more about what you write than I do, that you're more careful, but, for me, story happens, and that's how it happened. I'll be thinking about it though. I may be able to incorporate what you said into the way I write in the future.

First law of crits: you don't have to do what your critter tells you. :)

Here, the implication was supposed to be that his protests were for form's sake more than anything, and that she's been a trader long enough to know the value of the trade.

Perfectly valid implication. I just didn't have much ground to deduce it from - don't recall it being mentioned anywhere that she knew the girl wasn't worth the asking price (has she dealt in slaves before, aside from being one?), or that accusations of cheating weren't taken seriously in that place/time.

It's the place/time. Or, more specifically, that particular place. I'm going to mull and see what I can do to make that clearer without making it look like I scribbled on calligraphy with a sharpie. I tend to be panicky/heavy-handed with edits.

Well, I gave in and put it up. I have the right to take it down again at any time, so I may as well. And Internet? Fast.

The Best Lack All Conviction: the "Infante's Inferno" Columns and Other Writings

Victor, the page is in favorites and the price is in the budget. I won't be your first purchaser, but I will purchase it.