Kristin! That's so beautiful! And poignant.
I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars.
Willow ,'Conversations with Dead People'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Steph L. - Jun 21, 2004 5:12:21 pm PDT #5382 of 10001
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
Ginger - Jun 21, 2004 5:14:21 pm PDT #5383 of 10001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
I am Teppy. I have to fill every silence. I'm also the person in class who can't let the teacher's question hang for more than 30 seconds.
deborah grabien - Jun 21, 2004 5:41:46 pm PDT #5384 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Kristin, lovely lovely lovely. But one thing:
if I poured through his textbooks
Is that "pored"?
Pix - Jun 21, 2004 5:44:56 pm PDT #5385 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
Is that "pored"?
um. yes.
oops! I would like to say it was a clever metaphor, but no, just a typo.
Pix - Jun 21, 2004 5:49:39 pm PDT #5386 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
In the spirit of the drabbles, I got it down to exactly 100 words and fixed that typo! Here's version 2 and all done for now:
My Father’s Silence
There is something essential
about my father’s silence.
I have heard him recite Chaucer
from memory, his tongue curls round
whan Zephayrus eke with his swete brethe
inspired hath in every holt and heath…
The words come easy,
natural.
But
simple words,
get caught in lips pressed
suddenly together
I
me
my
cannot escape;
he has a terrible aversion
to first person.
I wonder if he would answer
if I asked in Middle English,
if I pored through his textbooks
to translate each word,
to ask in a language he speaks:
Who are you?
Speak to me.
deborah grabien - Jun 21, 2004 5:49:52 pm PDT #5387 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Heh. I did wonder, there...(about pour-pore)
deborah grabien - Jun 21, 2004 6:09:54 pm PDT #5388 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Oh, Kristin - that second version is so damned crisp, it's a killer. Clean, and without an excess word in there.
Beautiful.
Pix - Jun 21, 2004 6:49:00 pm PDT #5389 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.
Thanks Deb! I'm much happier with it now.
Catching up...
The last thing she remembered hearing was a crackle, a spitting, something that might have been firecrackers. They were distant, then not so distant, then closeby.
Deb, I love the opening of your drabble especially, the sense of motion.
Freshly made bed. Faintest rush of air from the ceiling vent.
Connie, this line brings me into the hospital room with you. I can smell that rush of air.
Silence is a gift to my mother, a relief from a busy day of noise and kids.
This line is great, erika. I love the idea of silence as a gift.
Okay, I think I have a narrative drabble on this topic waiting in me too.
Hmmm.
Polter-Cow - Jun 21, 2004 6:55:00 pm PDT #5390 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Kristin, shite. You are three for three. Sweet cuppin' cakes.
Beverly - Jun 21, 2004 8:50:04 pm PDT #5391 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
Beautiful, powerful drabbles, people. Wow.