Sometimes when I'm sitting in class... You know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like, it's like freeze frame. Willow kissage.

Oz ,'First Date'


The Great Write Way  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Pix - Jun 21, 2004 5:49:39 pm PDT #5386 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.

In the spirit of the drabbles, I got it down to exactly 100 words and fixed that typo! Here's version 2 and all done for now:

My Father’s Silence

There is something essential
about my father’s silence.

I have heard him recite Chaucer
from memory, his tongue curls round
whan Zephayrus eke with his swete brethe
inspired hath in every holt and heath…
The words come easy,
natural.

But
simple words,
get caught in lips pressed
suddenly together

I
me
my

cannot escape;
he has a terrible aversion
to first person.

I wonder if he would answer
if I asked in Middle English,
if I pored through his textbooks
to translate each word,
to ask in a language he speaks:

Who are you?
Speak to me.


deborah grabien - Jun 21, 2004 5:49:52 pm PDT #5387 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Heh. I did wonder, there...(about pour-pore)


deborah grabien - Jun 21, 2004 6:09:54 pm PDT #5388 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Oh, Kristin - that second version is so damned crisp, it's a killer. Clean, and without an excess word in there.

Beautiful.


Pix - Jun 21, 2004 6:49:00 pm PDT #5389 of 10001
The status is NOT quo.

Thanks Deb! I'm much happier with it now.

Catching up...

The last thing she remembered hearing was a crackle, a spitting, something that might have been firecrackers. They were distant, then not so distant, then closeby.

Deb, I love the opening of your drabble especially, the sense of motion.

Freshly made bed. Faintest rush of air from the ceiling vent.

Connie, this line brings me into the hospital room with you. I can smell that rush of air.

Silence is a gift to my mother, a relief from a busy day of noise and kids.

This line is great, erika. I love the idea of silence as a gift.

Okay, I think I have a narrative drabble on this topic waiting in me too.

Hmmm.


Polter-Cow - Jun 21, 2004 6:55:00 pm PDT #5390 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

Kristin, shite. You are three for three. Sweet cuppin' cakes.


Beverly - Jun 21, 2004 8:50:04 pm PDT #5391 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

Beautiful, powerful drabbles, people. Wow.


deborah grabien - Jun 21, 2004 9:01:53 pm PDT #5392 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Music Ending

There is always that moment, endless, heartbreaking, when the music is over.

Words, singing, laughter, anything that the human voice may produce - that stops, and that's fine. It leaves an echo, somehow, something that speaks in the inner ear, compact of reassurance that there will be amusement in future, and singing, shouting, voices yet to come.

In an empty theatre, when the last note of the piano hits the rafters and overhangs and settles back onto the keys like dust, the finality is the finality of absolute silence.

This is the silence of loss, and of my heart breaking.


dcp - Jun 21, 2004 9:12:45 pm PDT #5393 of 10001
The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.

dcp - Jun 21, 2004 11:30:29 pm PDT #5394 of 10001
The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.

This started as a memory of a night of stargazing in Colorado many years ago.

----------

As I switched off the ignition the sudden silence made me realize how loud the road noise had been -- the rumble of the engine, the whistle of the airflow, and the hissing of the tires.

Now I could hear the small sounds -- the pings from the cooling engine, the crunch of my shoes on the ground, the whisper of wind in the prairie grass.

As I sat and waited for nightfall, the small sounds gradually went away, leaving the personal sounds -- the creak of a knee, a shallow breath, a resting pulse.

Silence is not as quiet as you think.

----------


§ ita § - Jun 22, 2004 1:20:04 am PDT #5395 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

In the space between each breath lie eternities. Each covers vast reaches, into which she places her emotion - love, memories that she needs to keep strong, laughter and sharing and tenderness. She pours hatred at his unwilling betrayal, tears of loss, denial of the possibility of no future, and laces it all with panic.

Her lips are desperate against his, her fingers strong against his chest.

Another forever, filled with yesterday and shadows of tomorrow, makes her force back tears and inhale again.

She lowers her ear over his mouth.

More emptiness.

"Resuming compressions," she announces to an empty beach.