She'd be entirely too much of a freak if she were eighteen years old and only mature and responsible, and she needs a blind spot to overcome.

Especially considering the time the story takes place and her upbringing. Do you no longer open the story in the library?

It still opens in the library, but now it starts right at the moment Julius enters and Lucy gets all giddy over him.

It's fine, but your heroine sounds awful immature

Susan, even though I obviously have no idea what I'm talking about, since I haven't read the novel (I'd like to add 'yet' to that sentence, please), from what you posted here it seemed to me like Lucy not being mature at the beginning of the story was part of the point - that she grew up throughout it, that, again, this is a sentence that has a 'yet' in it.

In any way, when I read, I much prefer a character who is less 'oh, so mature, even though she's so young' and more in a reasonable place for her age when it comes to this question, if I'm making myself remotely clear.

Argh! Editing harder than writing book in the first place!

You finished a novel. You can do this.

Argh! Editing harder than writing book in the first place!

It is if you're doing it right! Chip Delaney says that editing a page usually takes him three to four times longer than it did to write it. He 'budgets' an hour a page.

Not that every writer should work the same way... but for somebody like me who writes middling first draft prose it's a blessing that it can be whipped into shape on subsequent passes....

BTW, I love the Shakespearean take on the family: Julius, Portia, Cordelia.

Everybody's a critic...I got notes from a carpet layer once. I wanted to say "Do I tell you how to lay carpet? No? Get a clue." But I realize a. I'm not just a Bitch but a bitch. b. You actually love your husband and care if he talks to you.

BTW, I love the Shakespearean take on the family: Julius, Portia, Cordelia.

I named Cordelia first as a Buffy shout-out, and then decided that their father loved his Shakespeare and decided to make the rest fit the pattern.

I have a short original story up in my LJ, and now I'm working on another one. Which is just bizarre-- I never get ideas this often.

Okay. New poem. I'm still wrestling with the last stanza.

Alchemy

Element 1.

“About transformation,” he said, “what’s
important isn’t what you change to, but
the fact that you’re changing.”

“Now put this on.”

Element 2.

I exchanged the smooth, unmarked
skin of my back for a 6-inch
livid purple scar
and the ability to walk
without pain again.

Element 3.

Cherry dress, bright red lipstick, four-inch heels.

Element 4.

In. I was immersed,
committing myself to
God. The coming out party
for my soul was held
under the weight of the water.

Element 5.

And back out. No ceremony
this time. Just me,
leaving with little fanfare.
Free from the weight.

Element 6.

I was unexpectedly sick,
strange new pain in my stomach and
redbrownred staining my pants.

Element 7.

Kissing a woman was not
that different
from kissing a man
and just as nice.

Element 8.

Now. Changes germinate
deep within, held in
stasis, waiting to
burst into bloom.

Steph, I don't know from poetry (no, really, I don't) but that's just cool.