So, they wrote me this:

Re: your warning about being up front, that's exactly why I looked to you for this. Your critique the other day was so refreshing! There's no room for sugar coating. Lesleyann and I want to make this worthy of publishing. We recognize that we have a lot to learn, and what may appear immediately axiomatic to you is obviously slipping right past us. I suppose one of the struggles we're facing is how to deliver the description without falling into the "telling" trap, and how to "show" without making the reader feel like they're being lead by the hand as opposed to experience it themselves.

Of course, if you dig into this and completely disagree with the agent's take, then that's fine. But my gutt says he's probably correct.

The first 55 is attached. How do you want to charge us for this?

And I wrote back:

For this sort of editing, I generally charge rather a lot. But you get the family rate, so I'll do the first 55 pages, in a very deep intensive way, make notes, make suggestions, restructure bits so that you can see how the characters' and story's voices should take the place of your own voice, suggest a first scene (my take would be to begin with Gina, since she's your main protagonist), and see if that gets you on your way with fixing the rest. If you need more, we can discuss. For now, call it $100 for the deep edits and we're even.

But I would very strongly suggest - in fact, I'm teetering on insisting - that after I do this, the three of us get together, that we put aside an afternoon to sit down and go over this, and that we do it in realtime and not online.

Does this work for you? If so, I'll get started and should have this by tomorrow morning.

---

And the ball is now in his court. I'll do it, collect the hundred bucks and make them buy me lunch, and hit them with a ruler.

Get them to love the machete, Deb. It's VERY good of you to do this, and worth far more to them than $100 and a good lunch (make it Boulevard, yes? *grin*)

What you're offering is far more valuable than what they'd get from an editor at a publishing house, I expect. And it's the only way for them to learn, despite the blood all over the ms.

Heh. Consuela, that's why I told them I charged rather a lot. If they need more than that first 5o pages? Hoooboy, they get to pay for it.

deb, my mother charges $50/hour for her writing consulting-lessons-coaching-tutoring-thing for her (few) adult students. From what I've heard, that's pretty standard. (Also, that's what alice's teacher charges a hour-long violin lesson, to give perspective.)

Deb, insent. Let me know if you have trouble opening the attachment.

Liz, whoooeeee. If I have to do more than the first 55 pages? They get smacked with bigtime fees.

Anne, got it, and it opened fine. Cookies have been offered.

Cookies will be gratefully accepted. I've heard wonderful things about your cookies.

I will be doing original writing this weekend. Alas, it is for work, and won't be all that fun.

t non-sequitor

Herring rollmops?

(I suppose I could clean the hardwood floors with fish...)

Hee! Herring rollmops (I was actually asked to do them for a party for a Dutch couple, as hors d'ouvres, are rolled-up herring fillets on sticks. They're smoked fish with a dipping sauce and they're intensely labour-intensive.

I have to start these edits. I don't want to right now, damnit.

Oh dear.

I am halfway through the edits and commentary. My comments are now at six typewritten pages and they're getting progressively crankier.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear dear dear.

For every line of show, there are fifty of tell.

Shoot me now...