Thanks, guys.

Edit: My post really wasn't meant to be a chastisement, I just didn't want to get critiques after I spent money. Also, I wasn't sure if I should leave the link up, if I did not want critiques. And to say thanks again, for all the support.

since I've just spent about $20 making 23 copies of it,

Oh, dude, your English department copier is not free and all-access? t slightly smug I love Bennett Hall.

Oh, dude, your English department copier is not free and all-access? I love Bennett Hall.

Not only is the English copier not free, it's completely hands off for students. You can make copies at the library for ten cents a copy. At Kinko's I would've spent about $37. At The Paper Clip, I spent $16.24. I feel like I got quite a deal, other than the part where it should be free, but isn't.

Need someone to beta a comic book script of mine.

Knowledge of the title The Authority would be helpful.

New poem, prompted by recent events...

Any thoughts welcome. I'm VERY new to writing poetry.

***********

Daylight Savings Time

I shake my tiny fist ineffectually
at the 5:00 darkness.
An hour stolen with the
turn of a dial.

Shadows creep into corners
that only a week ago
held puddles of sunshine.

Gloom is the backdrop
as day is kidnapped by night.

The days grow shorter.

I'm in two workshop groups, and we've been working together so long we shorthandspeak. Plus I think we've all developed rhino hide. If I come on too harsh, please know I think your work worth critique, and I treat you as an equal. I haven't written jack in weeks, or I'd share. When I do, I will, and l then lay on MacDuff, and damn'd be (me) that first cries "hold, enough!"

I shake my (tiny) fist ineffectually
at (the) 5(:00) pm darkness.
An hour stolen with the
turn of a dial.

Shadows creep into corners
that (only) a week ago
held puddle(s)d (of) sunshine. (or sunlight)

Gloom is the backdrop
as day is kidnapped by night.

The days grow shorter.

The last line is tres obvious and un-needed, but if you transpose it, so:

Days grow shorter
and gloom is the backdrop
as night kidnaps day.

"kidnaps" is much more active than "is kidnapped by" and is a strong word and image to end on, to linger in memory after the poem is read.

Most "the"s, "a"s, "but"s, etc., are extraneous. Just get to the meat of it, and find the rhythm. Very tasty, Teppy. I like it! Plus, I share your sentiments.

For some unfathomable reason, the strikeout html isn't working, so I've tried to make do with parens. Sorry for the confusing.

I like the last line a lot. I thought it was a great ending-- the inevitability of timecakes.

God, I sound so inarticulate when I have a headache.

CaBil, my husband and I are both Authority fans and would be glad to look at your comic script.

The last line is tres obvious and un-needed

I know it's obvious, but that was the point -- the way the poem is structured, in decreasing stanzas.

Thanks for *all* your feedback, though. I appreciate it, and I wouldn't have posted it if I didn't want critique. It's 7:15 a.m. right now, and so I'm going to go over the suggestions *after* I've had some coffee!

Thanks, truly.

Melusina, you don't have an email listed in your profile. Where would you like me to send it.