I, personally, adored the part with the quadriplegics because that's pretty much a vivid image of the terrifying college applicant, the super scary student that's going to make it impossible for you to get a spot at this really great school, that you want. And I think the people who read these essays know that, and the fact that Holli created such a vivid mental picture is more powerful than something that means something similar, but is "safe." I think the quadriplegics sentence shows more personality, and I really think that's what they're looking for, not political correctness.
Just my two cents.
Yes, you did use assuming, because you're smart, and with the words. Which apparently I am not today.
Nor the typing, if it takes three times to type 'today' correctly.
I think that the quadriplegic thing would be OK if you make it slightly more over-the-top and include "perfect candidate" things other than the community service. Like, get rid of "all-honors," because it's a bit redundant with "valedictorian." Throw in that the person was also all-state in three sports and one or two other modifiers. Maybe throw in something like "Not that I haven't done my share of community service, but..." Make it clear that what you're (lightly) mocking is the student who does everything, not the community service itself.
Hmm. Maybe change "all-honors valedictorian" to something like "champion pole-vaulting valedictorian slam poet"?
That's got my vote. Anything else, and you'd just have to call them Buckaroo Banzai and be done with it.
I loved the disabled war orphans.
MOVIE POEM II Alanna Simpson
tattered habit, out of my throat (it's cheerful)
ribbon of blood regard and hooded director
until the bars are shifting (they're removing clothing) in the movie
-- until it's patterns striping across sand
pelican wheeling in circles above our heads this thing is
still minstrelsy green and leafing (shoot stalk blade)
mannequins standard pole, sticking ingots, traverse bloom in the
evening truncheon (and that is what I have,)
hall, melodic and posing, or eventual laceration;
repetition of body and Richter scale moving
orange spray special
(if it's at this)
dis believe her
I'm writing for a new poetic persona, a character in my mother's new novel.
[link]
Do buyers from chain bookstores and big-box stores (Costco, Wal-Mart) ever ask publishers to change the content of a book? Word is that they do this just enough to scare authors and editors to death, but evidence of the practice has been nearly impossible to find.
Now comes news that Wal-Mart - or more specifically, Anderson Merchandising, the distributor whose sole client is Wal-Mart - has asked a publisher of romance novels, Dorchester Publishing Co., to change the content of a book to make it more "appropriate."
It appears that a buyer at Anderson took one look at advance excerpts from Susan Grant's fourth book, "Contact," a lead romance novel from Dorchester's imprint, LoveSpell, and decided that the airplane hijacking theme of the story was "inappropriate" a year after 9/11.
Changes in "editorial content" were requested by Anderson/Wal-Mart, but Dorchester refused, bless 'em. As as a result, "Contact" was declined by Anderson and is not sold in Wal-Mart stores. (Interestingly, it's available through Wal-Mart online, but that seems to be another story.)
