Tara ,'Get It Done'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Gris, you are not a bad guy. I mean, if you went into it thinking "This girl likes me and I could really use that to my advantage," well, then you would be a bad guy, but it doesn't sound like you did that.
I hope you get things sorted out with a minimum amount of awkwardness and hurt feelings.
OOH, thanks Tom. Also , insent a moment ago, and not about my trip to NYC.
Both Vortex and Stephanie are right. You didn't go into it with the intention of hurting her, but now that you know it might it's better to deal with it upfront. It's if you don't that you become a bad, bad man.
End it as soon as possible.
E-mail is being composed as we speak. And I'll probably call her tonight, too, though I really, really hate the thought of combining my consuming fear of the telephone with my consuming fear of making people sad.
No email. In person.
I just read over my original post, and I didn't quite make it clear that I really still thought there was potential there all the way up until this morning. At least, I think I thought so. In fact, the I'm-going-to-have-to-end-this-for-sure moment didn't actually occur until we went to buy coffee and cigarettes, right before I left. And, though I did mention the possibility of a second date at dinner, I didn't otherwise encourage future thoughts. I just didn't outright discourage them, either.
Anyway, thanks for the support. I totally get those guys that would become the "He's just not that into you" mixed message guy at this point. So much easier. So much eviller.
Gris, I've been on her end more times than I care to think about and it would have been much easier if he had just said "hey, got caught up in the moment, but I really don't think this is going anywhere.
No email. In person.
Generally, I'd agree, but
I really, really hate the thought of combining my consuming fear of the telephone with my consuming fear of making people sad.
so maybe it would be better to send an email. Maybe with a caveat "Sending an email is crappy, but I really hate to upset people, and I've found myself getting into situations that just got worse because I didn't want to upset someone, and i don't want to do that to you. You're a great person, but just not the person for me." And then, call her after a few days.
Vortex is wise (duh), plus you got to know her online first, so that was your first line of communication.
No email. In person.
Dude! You should have just left her a post-it note this morning. Or...yes, in person is best. And you don't have to have a long explanation, just that you aren't interested in dating her. It sucks to make people sad but it's way better than making them confused and hurt and angry.