I am a tooth-fairy-believing whackaloon who needs to be herded into a detention camp with all the other whackaloons.

I can tell you who *I* think is a whackaloon: The person who wrote that letter.

Hi Deena!

Happy Real Birthday KB!

So I had the biopsy today, although they took so much tissue it was more like something that ends in --ectomy. I got to see my midwife again, which was great.

The procedure wasn't awful, but I was a little startled that they had a camera and monitor set up so we could all see my squidgy bits in HDTV detail...as could anyone who passed by in the hall, since they left the door open and the monitor was opposite the doorway. They turned the big monitor on and I yelped, "OMG!! It's HUGE!!!" which got everyone to laugh.

But yeah, they took a chunk of skin the size of a shirt button. I stopped watching on the monitor a little too late for psychological comfort...but just in case I'd missed too much, they gave me some nice color photos of every step of the procedure. I'm thinking they are not candidates for photo t-shirts or Xmas ornaments.

JZ, step away from Salon letters. The crazy, we will always have with us. Besides, you can take heart from knowing that my association with Buffistas is one of the reasons that I now realize that all religious people are not crazy, but indeed, some are intelligent, educated, reasonable people. Unlike the scary nutjobs I grew up with. You've broadened my world. I still don't get it, but I don't automatically back away warily anymore. (And I don't have to get it. I'm okay with that. After all, I don't expect other people to get me and my kooky all-is-one beliefs, either.)

P-C, I think you should go to that convention, for three reasons, to wit: (1) it will convince your mom that you're SERIOUS; (2) you might actually meet someone interesting; and (3) your report of the proceedings will undoubtedly be amusing to read.

Teppy just typed what I was typing, except that I'd leave out the word "available." If you don't like "exciting," how about "significant"?

cereal: Raq, you now have giant HDTV photos of your cooter? You should totally display them in the foyer. Talk about conversation pieces.

I must go shower now, lest I be late for my own doctor's appointment, wherein I will likely spend another shitload of money and time for someone to not figure out what's wrong with me. Cheers, all.

JZ! This non-believer does not think you are Craxy, so please to step away from the stress-inducing letters at Salon. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

excellent suggestions, thank you both!

Well, I should be more or less back now. I have dial-up at home, but high-speed at school, and I should be able to read in a relatively timely manner. I know lots of people are deserving of punctuation, but the list is quite long, as it's been a while, so I'm just going to put a bowl out. Take what you want.

Debet!!! *pounces*

Raq, I think your HDTV Cooter Pics would make lovely foyer art in your home.

P-C, I think you should go to that convention, for three reasons, to wit: (1) it will convince your mom that you're SERIOUS; (2) you might actually meet someone interesting; and (3) your report of the proceedings will undoubtedly be amusing to read.

I agree with this. Especially points 2 and 3.

I'm in a weird mood today. I don't quite know what it is. Oh, wait! I'm not totally stressed at work. That's new and different. I only worked 8 hours yesterday and will work 7-8 today. I don't have a looming deadline. Huh.

I agree with this. Especially points 2 and 3.

It looks like it's in August, however, which would mean the next chance would be August 2007, by which time I will be congealed and no one will want me.