Hec would punish me, my hair looks so horrendous at this very moment.

Mmmm, punishment and haircuts. Two great flavors...

It would almost be worth letting you see it. Almost. It's pretty random and I have new negative feelings about my natural shade seeing it again. And the top is long enough for my "so boring" tell to come back again, because I can play with it. Need to handle that, in an election year and all.

I am SUCH an only child. I just want to duct tape them together and make them deal.

I'm NOT an only child and I'd want to duct tape them together and make them deal. In fact, I felt like I was duct taped to my twin and forced to deal from about 7 years old to 18. Of course the first semester we spent at separate colleges resulting in sobbing phone calls back and forth from Indiana and Michigan.

It does get better. (Says the woman who's facing this herself. Please. Let it get better.)

So the neighbor I've considered pretty trashy for the last couple of years--when I started staying home and pretty much seeing a lot of what went over there across the street--gave me a shitload of unopened boxes of baby cereal and TONS of cans of baby formula (Similac Advance--the 'spensive stuff we use). Her kindness has blown me away because we've lived across from her for seven years and have only basically nodded at each other while getting into our cars. I felt so guilty I made up some candy bar/rice krispy treats and took them over there this afternoon.

I just want to duct tape them together and make them deal.

That's almost what my mom used to do with us. If we complained to her, she wouldn't even look up and would say, "Are any of you bleeding? Are you all still conscious? Yes? Then work it out amongst yourselves." If she were feeling more generous, she'd add, "You need to learn how to work out differences with people. Now's the time to practice. Go."

"Are any of you bleeding? Are you all still conscious? Yes? Then work it out amongst yourselves." If she were feeling more generous, she'd add, "You need to learn how to work out differences with people. Now's the time to practice. Go."

I'm quite fond of this approach myself, in class.

Are any of you bleeding?

The answer to that for us was "yes" an awful lot. We were scratchers and biters. Evil twin was the hair puller, though.

I ask if anyone is bleeding from the eye.

My younger sister and I fought a lot, but she's smallish and fine-boned and has these ENORMOUS dark brown eyes. She'd start a fight and then go to our mother and look pitiful. (the envious tag is never going to close)

More adventures in stupid work e-mails:

The meeting will begin prominently at 8am to 5pm

"Are any of you bleeding? Are you all still conscious? Yes?

I usually go with "Is anything on fire? Is anybody's arm lying on the floor? Then deal with it yourselves."