It's supposed to reach 99 F here today (heat index of 105). Ungodly hot, but it's also not out of line for NC in August. I'll be glad when September rolls around.

This from The Onion is great:

In a decisive 1-0 decision Monday, President Bush voted to grant the president the constitutional power to grant himself additional powers.

The Presidential Empowerment Act, which the president hand-drafted on his own Oval Office stationery and promptly signed into law, provides Bush with full authority to permit himself to authorize increased jurisdiction over the three branches of the federal government, provided that the president considers it in his best interest to do so. "In a time of war, the president must have the power he needs to make the tough decisions including, if need be, the decision to grant himself even more power," Bush said. "To do otherwise would be playing into the hands of our enemies." ...

Senior administration officials lauded Bush's decision, saying that current presidential powers over presidential power were "far too limited." ...

Despite the president's new powers, the role of Congress and the Supreme Court has not been overlooked. Under the new law, both enjoy the newly broadened ability to grant the president the authority to increase his presidential powers. ... Republicans fearful that the president's new power undermines their ability to grant him more power have proposed a new law that would allow senators to permit him to grant himself more power, with or without presidential approval.

[link] [link]

It is 84 degrees INSIDE my workplace. Too Hot!

Down here it's basically the same weather we've had for the past six weeks, so no biggie. Why, the heat index is only 97° this morning!

Speaking of Castro and The Onion:

Cuban Leadership Passed To Castro's Brother

Cuban leader Fidel Castro, 80, will for the first time temporarily hand over power to his brother, Raul, while he recovers from gastrointestinal surgery. What do you think?

Leah Davis,
Telemarketer
"I'm used to the human rights violations, but I had hoped Castro was above nepotism."

Earlier this morning it sounded like NY1 was predicting the hottest day in NYC on record...but I didn't hear that when I woke up. So either they changed their mind or I dreamed it, either way, the city is fucking hot today!

ION, the conductors are back on OiNY one-liners! [link]

Conductor, angrily: Yo, stand clear o' the closing doors o' my choo-choo!

Down here it's basically the same weather we've had for the past six weeks, so no biggie. Why, the heat index is only 97° this morning!

Yes, there is a reason I live in the northeast.

"I'm used to the human rights violations, but I had hoped Castro was above nepotism."

This is genius. It's almost a shame that was in the Onion, because I can totally hear Jon Stewart saying it.

I should only have one first world misery to deal with at a time. Heatwave and burdened a/c, intermittent water or no hot water. Not all three.

Oh and I have jury duty tomorrow!

who are you, Job?

I always felt sorry for Job - he had to put up with all this crap just so God could prove a point to Satan. Like, God should totally not give a fuck what Satan thinks and just not be so mean to Job....

I think we tied the record for Hottest August 1st Ever yesterday, and today's supposed to be even worse.