Ugh. Heat insomnia. The last few weeks, it's felt like I won't get a good night's sleep until October.

My favorite theft-return story involves a beater 69 Beetle that an officer I worked with bought for $50 off a friend. It was stolen and he wrote it off as...well, no big loss.

4 years later, the cops (I should say, other cops) called to say that they stopped a car and found a VIN number associated with him.

He got the Beetle back. It has been 'blueprinted' (rebuilt to stock perfection from the rubber up) and was, at that time, worth about $4,000.

Good car-ma!

There's a Weed, NM.

There's also a Weed, CA, which is where my grandfather was born. The kids in his family were often called by where they were born (Uncle Reno is the only one I remember - he had a lot of brothers and sisters that I never met) and Weed was not only my grandpa's nickname, he made it his legal name after he decided Guido was not American enough. When he was in the hospital for a long stay, all the nurses and orderlies had to come by and see the guy named Weed.

Mom works for the school system and a teacher had taken some computer equipment home to test out some things (which teachers are allowed to do) and her home was broken into and the equipment was stolen. A few days later the police called saying they'd recovered everything, the theives and taken the stuff to a pawn shop. The pawn shop owner had called the police because the theives had left the property tags on the equipment. They had marked over the serial numbers that were written in Sharpie on the back but totally left the stickers that said "Property of X Y Schools" .

A girl I knew in high school got a jacket back from the guy who had stolen it via passing him in the hall wearing it, but that was at the same school! (Dumb criminals.)

When my brother was deployed for the Kosovo thing, several cars were stolen from lockup on Ft. Hood right after they shipped out, including his friend H's car. Bad, right? Anyway, a YEAR later, H is just back, buys a new car with the insurance money, and two days later he spots his stolen car. He follows, calls the MPs, there's a chase and he gets his car back and the guy is arrested (ends up catching the whole ring as a result. )

What kind of MORON steals a car on an army base, while stationed at that base (he was enlisted, so that meant military justice wheee) and keeps driving said car around ON that base?

It was incredible. Insurance didn't ask for the car or the money back, which I can't figure out, but there you go.

What kind of MORON steals a car on an army base, while stationed at that base (he was enlisted, so that meant military justice wheee) and keeps driving said car around ON that base?

Good god.

Hahahaha!

People are idiots.

It is so hard to want to work with most of my department out today and all the bosses at a meeting out of town! Argh.

And criminals continue to prove that the reason most criminals do what they do is because they're to stupid to do anything else.

And criminals continue to prove that the reason most criminals do what they do, because they're to stupid to do anything else.

Except for high-end con artists, who as we all know from the movies are both smart and cool.

Thomas Crowne, baybee!