{{{Gud}}}

Yay, Nora!!! Congratulations!!!

Cass and Jilli are Hawt! There was no one looking nearly as fabulous as that at the goth club the other night.

Said my good-byes to T tonight. There's a small post about it in my lj. I don't have any words left, except that I am so grateful I have Teacup Guy to come home to and his shoulder to cry on.

{{{sj}}}

{{{Gud}}} Marriage issues are of the suck. Having been in your wife's mental space, I know how hard and damaging it is for both involved (we didn't have kids, thankfully). Good luck.

My thumb hurts.

Stop drilling under your nails. That's what manicures are for.

So Emmett's team, The Mets, won their third playoff game. We're 3-0 now and go directly to the finals. As this is a double elimination tournament, that means the other team will have to beat us twice to win. Also, they have to play an extra game this week for that opportunity so they may not have much pitching left by that time. We'll see.

It was a wild, fraught, see-saw, all hitting, all weird plays, shabby pitching, clutch hitting slug fest. We won 14-11. Emmett went 2-2 with two walks, scoring three times. He crushed a massive double into the left field corner in his first at bat. Which we totally needed because they got 4 runs in the first.

In our first ups, our speedy leadoff player, Nathan, twisted his wrist on the first swing, and had to come out. We substituted Albert, who is a big, strong, not particularly fast kid. He hasn't had a hit in several games, but drilled a single, advanced on a ground out, stole third on a passed ball and came home on the overthrow. Pretty much what Nathan would've done.

So the score was 4-0, with them up. Then 4-1. 4-2. 4-4. Then we went up, scoring 7 runs to go up 11-4. 11-5. They scored six in the top of the fifth inning to tie it up at 11 all. Eian was on the mound and gave up the massive double that pulled them within one, then didn't get on the rubber and the tying run came in on a not-paying-attention steal. He started to meltdown, but held it together to get a strikeout and stop the bleeding. Tie game.

Bottom of the fifth, we get two men on and Eian blasts a shot into the gap for two RBIs. We squeeze out an extra run. We're up.

Top of the sixth, Eian walks a batter. Then he gets a comebacker, a litle dribble hit directly to him and fails to field the ball. One of those nightmare situations where you're groping in the grass and it should be an easy out and it's NOT. Two men on with no outs. It's got all the makings of a horrible meltdown. (This is the team who beat us early in the season by scoring 17 runs in their last at bats against us to take the lead and beat us.) Eian's fighting back the tears, but he's mostly throwing strikes. Another dribbler ground ball to Nathan at first base. He gets the out. Passed ball and both runners move up. They've got men on second and third with one out. Eian gets a strikeout. Two outs. They're still threatening. Wild pitch, Jallah is catching and scrambles after the ball. Runner breaks for home, Jallah diving back and gets the game ending out. Phewwwwwww! Pandemonium!

So we're sitting in the catbird seat right now. The team we beat tonight (Rockies) is still in the tournament. Tomorrow they play the team we beat in the last regular season game (White Sox). The winner of that faces us on Thursday. If we win on Thursday, we're the champs. If we lose, we play again on Friday. Which is Emmett's last day of school, and we've got A's tickets. Since there are limits on how many innings a pitcher can pitch in a week, whichever team we face on Thursday will be more depleted than we are.

It was such a wild, sloppy game with coaches tearing their hair out, and scoring corrections and complaints and tension and barking and oy. It was kind of stressful. Less for me than my fellow coaches, though.

You think Hec might be a little proud of his kid or something?

We've done counseling and such, so issues have been discussed. But yeah, I'm not always very good at communicating my frustrations. OTOH, when I do it often makes matters much, much worse than just letting things blow over. I always feel guilty when I post something here when I'm frustrated, but it's the only place I've got. I will try to use more discretion though.

I figured that you have been through some counselling. And yeah, discussing the problem isn't always the solution. My only concern is that the feedback you get here will always be in the "she's being mean" vein, because we care about you and we don't want to see her hurt you. We're very protective of our own that way.

But in my experience, sometimes that *isn't* what I need to hear when I am hurting. Sometimes it's better to put one's own hurt aside and try to see what's hurting your partner, and then seeing if there's some way to answer her that responds to both your pain, and more importantly, that reinforces the love between you.

I know that sounds self-effacing and just plain wrong to a lot of people here, but for me it is often true.

You think Hec might be a little proud of his kid or something?

I didn't even talk about his catching.

Thing is, Burrell, Gud's situation has been going on for a long time. His wife's been chronically depressed. She fucked up their finances brutally by simply not paying bills for many months. She's a stay-at-home Mom who's home-schooling and a conservative Christian (and he is not) and she's been castigating him over minutia for several years now. He's done a lot of counseling with her and she hasn't moved an inch during the counseling, but is continuously blameful while he (a) supports the family; (b) works overtime to fix their debt; (c) gets shit about working overtime; (d) and is a very active, and involved father.

I'm so exhausted. Six more, and then I can go to sleep. I don't think I can take much more.

What Hec said.

Gud. I know you don't want to hear this, and feel free to ignore if I'm being obnoxious, but here's the thing: she is not going to change. The only one with the power and will to change the situation is you. Change like that is violent and painful--sometimes moreso than the steady stream of daily unhappy is worth--and I would understand if you decided not to take that drastic step. But I think it's important for you to remember, if only for your own sense of power and worth, that you do not have to be at the mercy of your wife for the rest of your life.

Backing off now.

Damn.

Well, all I have for Gud is punctuation. And admiration. And other things that end in -ation. It's difficult to make constructive comments without knowing the whole situation, but from the glimpses I get when Gud comes into the thread to vent - really, I just don't know how he could be trying any harder to make things work.

That was the outfit you were all worrying about and the Body Image and Self-Esteem Demons were getting at you about? Because that is GORGEOUS, as is the woman wearing it.

nods FOR EVER.

You both look fantastic in the picture. Love Cass's dress! But, damn, Jilli - any time you're worried about looking pudgy, check out that photo. I've never seen you looking less than beautiful (including pyjamas and fluffy slippers, in which there was this whole Lethal Cuteness Bomb thing going on), but it's striking how much skinnier you are now than at the first F2F. You've clearly been working hard at that, and it shows. In a good way.

Man, I bet the vampire ball was fun.