I'll likely be just as miserable if I stay home. No, I don't have to go to every gig, you're right, but Dave is working and he is coming home with just enough time to eat quick and run off to the gig. I don't feel I can just cancel on him when he walks in the door. Plus, I feel I have been unfair to him lately. I've been snappish and never quite ready on time lately. I know most of it is depression because I have to say good-bye to T tomorrow. Dave has been wonderfully supportive, but it is not fair that I am taking this out on him.

Oh, but also? sj, you are stunningly, heartbreakingly beautiful. I know I mentioned that after the Cleveland trip last year, because your pictures just don't do you justice, so when I met you, I was in awe.

So you don't need to keep your pretty self at home b/c of that.

But I still think that if you need to chill at home, just chill at home. You'll go to the next gig.

Thanks, Teppy. You're sweet. I can't make myself believe you right now, but thank you anyway.

I can't make myself believe you right now, but thank you anyway.

You're very welcome. AND, maybe you don't need to believe it yourself right now -- maybe it can be enough to know that *we* believe it for you.

maybe it can be enough to know that *we* believe it for you.

It certainly help, and I will be thinking of you guys tonight when I am trying to find a good corner to hide in.

Women are always telling me that!

erika does the near impossible again by making me laugh.

Also, someone needs to start reminding me to eat during the day again. I was doing so good about having 3 meals a day for a while, but I have been slacking. I just had a couple of leftover chicken wings, and I am starting to feel a bit calmer.

I will be thinking of you guys tonight when I am trying to find a good corner to hide in.

You definitely should! I know this veers into cheesy, what-would-Buffy-do territory, but there are a few unbelievably scary things I've done in the past year or so that I didn't want to do/didn't think I could do, but I knew it would ultimately be good for me to do them. So I told myself -- for real, and I know it's cheesy -- "You are a *Buffista* -- you can *totally* handle this!"

(And, as it turns out, I *could* handle them, and I went ahead and did them, and they did in fact turn out to be really good for me. But I had to talk myself through the door, and my Buffista-ness was a big factor in that talk.)

So. Think of us, remember that *we* know how gorgeous you are, and remind yourself that you're a Buffista -- you can *totally* do the Band Girlfriend(TM) thing.

EAT sj.

I've got nothin' else. I need to get my ass in gear.

There are times when I do things because I think "If Hec(Just as a completely hypothetical example) heard I backed out, there'd be no living with the man. Is it worth being a candyass if I have to tell him about it?" Mostly not.