Lucy and I are vibing hard for Lucy.

Listen, dumbasses, it has come to my attention that his rumor is going around and it's not only not true, but if you ever breathe a word that you thought it was true, I will personally come by and rip out your tongue and feed it to my dog" ?

Man, I wish. Because you know they'll all seen pictures.

I'm sorry, Amy.

I hope she's off to the land of perpetual scritches and seafood with nothing more than a long, last exhale.

Oh amych. Easy passing for Lucy.

We interrupt your regulary scheduled Bitches for a gratuitous school post from our star student of the day, Aimee Conat. Aimee?

Yes, good evening, Ted. In this time of dire need and sleeping husbands, I am asking for a quick Beta of the following paragraph for my discussion question today. The assignment was to write a topic sentence and supporting paragraph on the subject, "Tips for Job Hunting in Today's Market". We go live to the paragraph:

*Browsing a company’s website is one way to give you an edge over other applicants.* Knowing exactly what the company does, and familiarizing yourself with their services and products, will give you the opportunity to emphasize your skills, and illustrate how hiring you would be beneficial to them. When composing your cover letter, which is the first impression you will make, you can reference a product from their website and show how your prior work experience can help further their sales goals. In an interview, being knowledgeable about the services they offer can facilitate better questions from you regarding your part in customer service. It also shows a great deal of initiative, and the employer will remember that you took the time to do your research.

Back to you in the studio, Ted.

Back to you in the studio, Ted.

Thank you Aimee, but there's no one here named Ted.

In other news....

I would change the "you" to "yourself" in the first sentence.

Maybe add something about the "values" of the company, something a little more intangible than their business.

Apart from that, good.

Shut it, Sean. This is why you'll always be climbing catwalks and not IN FRONT of the camera.

AM I ON VOX??

Thanks, Abi. Revising coming up.

Thanks, Aimee! Let's check in with Grammar Correspondent Comma King and get his thoughts. Comma?

This is Comma King, reporting live from Spike's Bitches, where local Aimee Conat is requesting help with a paragraph, already in progress.

Knowing exactly what the company does, and familiarizing yourself with their services and products, will give you the opportunity to emphasize your skills, and illustrate how hiring you would be beneficial to them.

Mrs. Conat, all of these commas are extraneous and ungrammatical, but I will defer to your stylistic choice.

Comma King, reporting.

Comma-King, can you tell us how we can better punctuate this sentence? Should we just delete all the commas? Won't that action bring about a war?

AM I ON VOX??

t flips switch

Wait.... which setting was which again?