"Man, they aren't being Indian; they're being *annoying*!"

Bwah!

See, I kind of want to agree with this, but then I think of my best friend at school (whose sister was happy with the arranged marriage thing, but who herself scandalised the family by running around after white boys, was eventually cut off without a cent, lived in sin (with a white boy), dropped out of Uni to work full time, had a year-long affair with her partner's newly-wed best friend (another white boy) and then ran off with said best friend, but has been happily married to him for maybe 6 years now, and has a beautiful baby daughter - quite the rollercoaster it's been, but I guess it's a kind of happily ever after, except for the whole being-outcast-from-her-family thing) and the entire basis of the comedy in Goodness Gracious Me, and I think that, yes, they are being annoying, but also they're very much being Indian. Inasmuchas the whole control thing, familial expectations, marital expectations etc etc. Hopefully in another generation or two things will be a lot more chilled, but that isn't big with the helpfulness for you right now.

This whole business about you being too quiet is nonsense, though. You're clever and cute and all that, but you are also perfectly personable. You don't have to be a game show host to be attractive, for the love of heaven! (...of course, being British, my expectations about personal bubbles and being reserved may be a wee bit different than theirs...)

Aha! You need to set your sights on a nice British Asian chick! Yes! We have lots of hot, well educated 'good Indian girls*' who will not all be looking for Jerry Springerish levels of bounciness in a boy.

Not that I'm actually trying to lure you over to Wembley/Hounslow/Bradford/Leeds to meet Nice Girls. But it's a possibility! Plus - travel!

(...have you seen Bride and Prejudice? Because it sounds like they want you to be like Mr. Kohli , the ghastly American guy who proposes to the stunning Lalita and ends up marrying her friend instead. Him. It sounds like they want you to be him to win a girl. And really? Not so much with the hotness.)

You could tell your mum you're going for the strong silent routine...but it doesn't sound like she's going to listen, so I'll just shut up with my Helpful Suggestions.

eta

...okay, strike that then. Maybe they are just being annoying.

*I do realise that my schoolfriend Z is not exactly an example of a 'good Indian girl'. But then her father was not a nice man At All; he was physically and mentally abusive, and she needed a way out, and she found one. Props to her.

I'm sorry things are sucking so badly, P-C.

I looked forward to meeting you at F2F. When I finally did, I felt like you were a bit displeased with me, but maybe that's part of the whole quiet thing. Anyway, doesn't matter whether you're super-gregarious the way your family seems to be pushing for or not. From what I've read online you seem like a super guy. And I back up what the others have said.

Sometimes our families don't get us. I know my family loves me but they mostly don't get me. I don't feel like I belong. So then it becomes all about finding my own place from the world, being financially stable enough to secure a place for myself so I can call my own shots, and working on better self-esteem so that I don't allow myself to be bullied or guilted into stuff I know in my gut isn't for me.

If you need an emergency joint to crash, you know my email now. Hang in there.

I think it has hit THFU temperatures here. It's 11PM, and I'm still sweating.

(THFU=Too Hot For Underwear)

Where's SuperPornyPants when you need her?

Apparently its too hot for me.

Apparently its too hot for me.

Pfft. You are made of the hot.

She listened carefully and nodded her head and said there were some cultural issues in conflict, but that frankly there was also some sheer fucked-upedness coming from P-C's family.

Well. Um. Sucks for me, I guess.

Aha! You need to set your sights on a nice British Asian chick!

I do dig the accents...

You could tell your mum you're going for the strong silent routine...but it doesn't sound like she's going to listen, so I'll just shut up with my Helpful Suggestions.

I feel like My Mom's Version of Me and My Version of Me are akin to a polarizing issue in fandom: neither side's going to change its opinion, no matter what the other side says.

When I finally did, I felt like you were a bit displeased with me, but maybe that's part of the whole quiet thing.

Oh, no, I'm terribly sorry if I gave you that impression! I was just surprised to see you; I didn't know you were coming. Plus the Wonder Woman thing threw me off.

Apparently its too hot for me.

Fans cool air furiously in Trudy's direction.

Waits expectantly for porn.

Ponders. Has Trudy gone to sleep yet? Am I too late?

Well. Um. Sucks for me, I guess.

No. That means you get to set some of your own boundaries about what you'll put up with. And you don't have to sever or even risk your family connections to do that.

You can negotiate with you Mom like this. "Mom, I'm not getting married this year. I'm probably - but who knows - not getting married next year. You're making me miserable asking about it all the time. When I'm ready, we can talk about it. I want and trust your input. But I'm 24 - there's time. I'm just starting my career. That's my focus. I know you're freaked out, but just trust me a little. Also? I'm not getting married this year, so shush."

With you Uncle...move out. It's no fun living with an arch-conservative who's whaling on your cousin.

is learning that too hot for others is just right for me.