Ft. Funston is a place where you go to hang glide with the boys, walk on the beach, play with all the dogs that people walk there. I love that spot.

Sounds lovely.

You are absolutely right. Once she gets to know more people and acquires a broader sense of just exactly where the baseline for the general population at large is, she'll have to revise you to somewhere in the top 3.

Heh. You're sweet. But I knew that. I know I have self-esteem issues and thus feel weird accepting compliments, but it honestly makes me sad that I am considered awesome. Because...as you say, it doesn't speak so well of the baseline for the general population at large.

and for P-C, I am guessing you are a lot quiter than the rest of you family. You were much quieter at the F2F than I expected ( This is not bad, just something I noticed).

Yeah, you're right. My mom does acknowledge the fact that I'm quiet...she just doesn't like it. It means I think I'm better than everyone.

they are in this wierd palce with you. they want you to be 'the man. the grown up . the example' yet at the same time you are the younger, the next generation, part of the children.

Good observation.

It's a great place. And I feel all special and shit out there because the other pilots are all so sweet to me (I'm not rated high enough to fly there, but they trust me around their wings and I can stand out on launch with them) and the people gawking at the pilots and are too scared to ask them questions aren't scared to ask me.

If ever I feel like I'm not getting enough attention, Ft. Funston is the place to go.

eta: Perkins, I'm going to catch a train that gets me to Daly City at 6:23. I promised my fly boy I wouldn't get there until after 6, so he has a chance to fly if the wind cooperates.

It means I think I'm better than everyone.

t rolls eyes forever at your mother

Family/coping-ma to you, Sunil.

eta: Perkins, I'm going to catch a train that gets me to Daly City at 6:23. I promised my fly boy I wouldn't get there until after 6, so he has a chance to fly if the wind cooperates.

Cool. I still need to vacuum, and shower, and veg more, so that works out well. I hope he gets to fly.

Oh Sunil, honey, sometimes they (and I'm using this in a broad way) just seem mean. Like, its not only conflicting cultures and expectations, just sorta mean.

There's got to be a shrink or counselor or someone in the Bay Area who's Indian and trained in what's healthy boundaries blah de blah. I'm not saying you're bonkers or NEED therapy or anything of the sort... but maybe it would be nice to find someone who can provide a reality-check that a lot of your friends just aren't equiped to give.

It IS San Francisco after all. Everyone is there. They probably have their own section in the Yellow Pages "CULTURAL EXPECTATION CONSELING SERVICES: Are you Indian? Turkish? Ethnic Chinese Malaysian? Is your family driving you AROUND THE BEND?!?!? We have trained facilitators from many lands..."

There's got to be a shrink or counselor or someone in the Bay Area who's Indian and trained in what's healthy boundaries blah de blah.

That's a good point. Maybe an Indian counselor could tell you "Man, they aren't being Indian; they're being *annoying*!" Would that be a possibility for you?

ION, my weekend to-do list has graduated to being written on a large (16 x 20) sketch pad and propped up on the wine cabinet in full view. That way, if I choose to ignore the list, it can at least glare disapprovingly at me. (Most of it is freelance work, and I drew dollar signs around those entries, to remind me that there's a reason I'm doing them. As for doing the dishes -- ain't nobody paying me for that, so they can wait.)

I think you'd do better spending your money on your own place, than family counselling with an aunt and uncle. And if that means getting a 2nd job or something, that seems (to me) time better spent than counselling with an aunt and uncle. You need to get the heck out of that house as soon as it is do-able, P-C (I mean, in my opinion, you don't need yet another old fogey trying to tell you what to do, I just think you'd feel so relieved to be on your own). You're not going to change them and neither is a counselor.

I know I have self-esteem issues and thus feel weird accepting compliments, but it honestly makes me sad that I am considered awesome. Because...as you say, it doesn't speak so well of the baseline for the general population at large.

Sunil, take a look at the people you consider friends - both online and in meat-space. There are some really great people in your life who like and respect you right back, aren't there? One of the best things my mother taught me is that Water Seeks Its Own Level. We gravitate to people who are like us - witty, intelligent, kind, passionate, hard-working, loving, creative people gather around you because that is what you are. It's not arrogant or prideful to recognize quality in your friends, and it is not arrogant or prideful to recognize it in yourself. It may take a leap of faith to believe that these amazing people who call you friend are not just being charitable in allowing you to hang around with them but like you for you(r quality).