I have a sweetheart of a Hubby. He was looking at clothing patterns on eBay and said, "That's gorgeous, and it goes up to Size 10. You're a size 10, aren't you?" I smiled kindly at him and said, "No, sweetheart, I'm a size 22." "I'll just shut up now, shall I?" "That's all right."

But considering this month is our 20th wedding anniversary, I guess I'll keep him. I'm pretty sure the Return By date is well past.

So on the way home from work yesterday, my uncle turned off the radio and had A Talk with me about the fact that I needed to "be a part of the family" and "not isolate myself" on the computer all the time and "set a good example" for the kids because if they see me on the computer, they think it's okay and they won't do their homework, and I'm mostly summarizing because I don't have time right now because I have to go be a part of the family and not isolate myself on the computer right after this. And I don't know what I haven't been doing, really, because I've been staying in the kitchen after work and helping make dinner, and then I've set the table and joked around with everyone during dinner, and then I've cleaned the dishes after dinner, and after that, everyone goes their own separate ways anyway, so what, I'm supposed to stand around doing nothing until the kids go to sleep so I can use my own fucking computer and not be a bad influence?

My whole life, it's been the same thing: Mingle! Interact! And they act like I never, ever, ever, ever, IN THE ENTIRETY OF MY EXISTENCE have ever interacted with another human being before, but they don't seem to get that it's all about the right environment and the right people. And they will never understand that being social on the computer is worth anything at all, that the Internet is an extension of my life and kind of important to me. So now I feel like I'm doing something wrong if I'm ever on the motherfucking computer.

And I have conflicting feelings of "Hello, you're living in their house, do what they say all the time, you ungrateful little brat!" and "Hello, you're twenty-four goddamn years old and have your own life, you should be able to do what you want!"

I couldn't say anything for about five minutes; I couldn't bring myself to say anything to him. He told me he knew I was crying inside, but by not saying anything, I was just making myself miserable, and thus making everyone else miserable. We stopped at CostCo, and he wouldn't get out of the car until I said something. So I finally said that I had been considering moving to Berkeley after my internship turned into something longer, and he said that was fine, but until that happens, just think about what he'd said.

So now I have to go outside and mingle and interact, especially because my aunt came in and gave a passive-aggressive "You can go outside and help" and my dad called and gave a "You don't need to be on the computer all the time" in addition to a bonus "Why don't you have any Indian friends? It doesn't matter if you're not actively avoiding them; you need to have some Indian friends."

I hate that I can't be myself around my family.

Oi, P-C. Your family really takes the Family Hell thing to the next level, don't they.

Tell them you're looking for a Nice Indian Wife on the computer, P-C. Or that you are perusing on-line doctoral programs to try and break yourslef of that nasty Goat Porn habit. Ugh. That sucks.

Me? I am valiantly skipping my friend S's rockin reggae-themed birthday party to stay home with Frodo and the Boyz to try and get rid of the rest of the Ick. I feel better, but not good, you know? I also don't want to give this horrific cold to any of my friends --so I am passing on the DELICIOUS CATERING from a local Jamican restaurant, which I could probably actually frickin' TASTE. Dammit.

Oh, well. I'd be miserable, anyway, and I do have root beer and vanilla ice cream here at home.

Oi, P-C. Your family really takes the Family Hell thing to the next level, don't they.

Taking a break from sanding to clarify that it's not that I mind doing stuff with the family; it's just the continual feeling that I'm being forced into it that makes me want to avoid it.

Also to add the sentiment that I wish I were Polter-Cow, because Sunil loses at life.

Ngah! Good grief, P-C. Dude. You need to move out, like yesterday.

...which I realise is an oversimplification of the matter, but it would be a good start, and I'm wishing you whole bucketloads of Moving-ma.

BLESS the Mal pics, Raq. (And word to how startlingly beautiful you are - I was actually just reflecting upon that earlier today, random as that sounds.)

((Askye))

t waves

I'm about 500 posts behind. I haven't been feeling very well the past few days, but I wanted to say hi.

Aimee, I am glad your sister is alright. How scary for her.

Punctuation for Sunil and for sj.

I wish I were Polter-Cow, because Sunil loses at life.

I am here to tell you that the game of life doesn't work like that, my friend. Life will always surprise you. And you always have it within you to surprise Life right back.

Aimee: I'm so glad she's ok.

Raq: Gorgeous pictures. How did I mange to see you for only, like, two minutes in SF? These things need to be a whole week.

Fay: Mail me Tristan. He always sounded so naughty and sexy to me.

Sunil: Oh honey, I'm so sorry they can't seem to make ONE IOTA of an effort to know you for who YOU are. It's bad for you, and so unfair. But over time its worse for them -- they're missing out on a neat, funny, weird person who is RIGHT THERE. Silly fools.