Has your family been introducing you to any Indian women?

Not yet.

everything feels illegal.

and what you are developing now, is your own sense of right and wrong. Hard yes, but everyone goes through it. Once again, for future relationships, it will be so much easier. you be able to see what your family thinks, see reality, and then know inside that these things might be different.

Belated Hello to Margaret T. Welcome!

Bev, much tooth~ma and may I just say "ow" in sympathy?

P-C, what everyone else has said. Kissing is good. It's also pretty much a pass when there is no commitment anywhere. I know it may be different in your family's culture, but amongst most of us USians, we find any excuse to kiss, because, repeat after me--kissing is good. Not telling your mother you've been kissing girls is not a bad thing. Just, ya know, don't get caught by mom. *g*

I think I expire this year

now I have to wonder what happens if you expire. Will it be like 'old maids that were on the shelf in the regency romance novels. Will people just look at you , sigh , shake ther heads, and say 'It's such a shame'. and be astonished that anyone female even talks to you?

That is exactly what will happen, beth. EXACTLY.

Bev, tooth~ma.

P-C, I have no advice for you. You are in a very difficult situation. Tons of ~ma for you.

That is exactly what will happen, beth. EXACTLY.

Will you then be free?

If I am seen within ten feet of a girl, she's assumed to be my girlfriend

That's not your problem, Sunil. It's your family's problem for making that assumption.

I mean, I *totally* understand that it's become your problem b/c their assumptions make you feel like everything you do is illegal, but YOU KNOW that you aren't seeking out a girlfriend. YOU KNOW that just because you're in the company of a woman, that doesn't make her your girlfriend, that you don't have any non-parentally-approved intentions toward her. (Or, at least, if you have those intentions, you don't act on them.)

I mean, you have a job now -- you're going to be working with women, sometimes one-on-one. Do they have a problem with that, too?

amych, I love your house. LOVE. It's gorgeous and I am quite jealous.

Sophia, how's your hand? I hope something works out for your cat, even if you can't take him back. What an awful situation to be in!

I've been pondering this for months now, and I still can't figure out how I'm going to decide between L.A., San Francisco, and Portland. How does one make these decisions? Help!

Well, I made a spreadsheet listing the cities I was thinking of moving to and ranking each one on qualities like availability of jobs and cost of living and weather, etc, then ranked those qualities in order of importance and did a weighted average to determine "objectively" where I should live. It came up SF Bay Area. Feel free to use my results.

I really liked Portland when I visited there - it seems like a well run and well laid out city. It does rain a lot, though, but that means a lot of green growing things, too. Which is nice if you like green growing things and not so nice if you are allergic to them, I guess. My brother-in-law bikes or transits pretty much everywhere (unless the whole family is going, but sometimes then, too). The economy is reported to be growing pretty quickly.

Check me out, I am completely failing to be helpful.

One year ago today I was moving into my house! It doesn't seem that long ago and at the same time it feels like this has been home forever

This is just wonderful to read. I'm so glad your house is a real home.

Hi, Margaret T. I think I've seen you de-lurking before, but in case I didn't say it then, welcome!

Tooth~ma, Beverly. Breaking a tooth on a burger shouldn't happen, is my gut feeling.

I don't know what you need to do about your mom and what you tell her, P-C. If you can find a way to have some freedom and not feel bad about misleading her and also not upset her, well, that would be great. I don't know if that's a possibility, though.

I feel like I should tell you about DH's coworker who has an arranged marriage. While he was in college (pre-arrangement) he made it his business to sleep with as many non-Indian women of varying ethnicities as he could. So, um, you could behave much worse and still end up being the dutiful son. Or something.

beth is very smart.

I am still living on Theraflu. My Mother-in-law leaves today. I am way past the length of time that I can spend with her and maintain pleasant relations. We are all lucky that I felt too bad to drive to Yosemite on Sunday and got that time to myself. And it's not that she's a bad person or mean-spirited at all. She's very nice and she always means well. She just irritates me. I like her much better when she's a couple thousand miles away.