And, I found another use for the Magic Eraser.

Wow, it really *is* magic.

Today was kind of a crappy day, even though I wasn't in the depths of depression. I just didn't do anything. I didn't get dressed for most of the day. I spent most of the day in bed on the 'net. Every time I thought about motivating to do something, I really couldn't get energized.

Finally, around 8:00 I read a friend's LJ entry. She was going to be at at least one event I'm doing on Sunday. She reminded me of a good one to attend on Friday, and she let me know about a showing of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" at The Parkway tonight. I'd just gotten a call from the ex that made me kinda blue/angry so when I called her up and heard how excited she was to hear from me, it perked me up. I drove to the theater and even though I was there a half hour early, I could see there were hardly any seats left. My friends hadn't arrived yet.

I decided I just wasn't going to have that good a time. If half hour early wasn't early enough for a good seat, I was asking for my money back (unusually assertive for me). I did and found the last two seats being sold to the people in front of me in line. And my friend wasn't there yet. As I was driving away, I suddenly remembered I had her # programmed into my cell. I called, her boyfriend picked up, and I apologized and explained why I'd left. They said they'd gotten there to find it sold out anyway.

So now I'm back home. And just feeling weird and ashamed that I've done nothing productive all day. Except stick to my diet.

Spidra! You did something constructive - you made the effort to get out and go to a fun event with friends. Ok, so it did not work out as planned but you made the effort! If you have a bum day, and yet do ONE thing, you did good. Seriously, I know whereof I speak. When you're out of work, things start closing in on you, and sometimes that One Thing is a real triumph.

you did two. Stuck to your diet and made the attempt to go out - at the last minute. and the weather around here is makeing everyone crazy. months of gloom, then the sun comes out and it is 80.and seriously, moving off the carbohydrates like that - i did it once. mood swings were awful. others - with tendencies towards depression - had three or four bad days. you body chemistry is doing a major shift. Just promise to get dressed tomorrow, just in case something happens.

Thanks, WindSparrow. It all feels so weird. When I'm not on anti-depressants at least I have a good excuse for having a day like today. When I'm on them, and they're working, I don't understand. I guess it's because I am still overwhelmed by how much I have to do. I've lived on a construction site for a year and a half now and the place is a bleeding mess. Yet I feel guilty if I do much cleaning because I should be doing my temp telecommute work, or studying to pass Mac OS X Certification, or rehearsing for my next gig, or, or, or. So many things to do. I *do* try to remind myself that doing something is better than doing nothing, even if it's one thing. Thanks for chiming in on that sane side of things.

Yes, listen to beth. She's wise and brilliant and we loves her. We also loves you, Spidra. Because you're foamy. And cute. And because you love Indiana Jones.

Heh. Well the cool event my friend reminded me of is that the Frisky Frolics are going to be playing at the DeYoung. I've been wanting to see the Art Nouveau exhibit anyway and this gives me a value-added reason to spend money on gas and bridge fare to get over there.

It's true I wonder how much of what I'm going through is the diet shift. But I had days like this before the diet. If I didn't feel like I'd be imposing, I'd ask a friend or two to come over and keep me company while doing household things. I'm always more energetic when I have friends around.

You guys are gold.

And oh man, do I love Indy. Before he discovered Ally McBeal anyway... Even his stunt double was bloody cute back then: [link]

So how are things, guys? Beth, how's Matt's mother doing?

Yet I feel guilty if I do much cleaning because I should be doing my temp telecommute work, or studying to pass Mac OS X Certification, or rehearsing for my next gig, or, or, or. So many things to do.

Aw, yeah it is easy to get overwhelmed, and the balance is hard to find. Would it work for you to set a timer, and clean for x minutes, then work on the work-work for x amount of time, then study for x time, then work-work, then rehearse. Go back and forth, get a few bites of each, maybe? Or is that not a good way for you?

All that you have to go - would mean make a list for me. and anythign that can's be finished in one reasonable chunk of time- has intervals of time after it. Like paper shredding 15, 30, 45, 60 , etc. for the amount of tiem it will take to do the job , or what I can accomplish in x amount of days. my current list (and the first on made in a loooong time ) is for thurs thru mon at 4 . It also helps to have lots of short jobs ( clean mirror in bathroom) so I can cross off a lot of things. but they all should be thing I want to accomplish. But Lists may not work for you. It is the librarian in me. I may not be organized, but I have a plan.

Beth, how's Matt's mother doing

Better. I t looks like it was a minor heart attack and , happily she is so aware of her health, that she got to the ER quickly. But, I am guessing she is still smoking.