Okay, I realize full well that my supreme crankiness is from a combination of: (a) not enough sleep; (b) too much sugar last night; and (c) these damned allergies, which resist Claritin's might. I get that. I get all of it.

That said, the whammy combination is exacerbating the following, which are annoying in their own right, but not really -- on a normal day -- enough to make me overwhelmed and weepy:

(1) my co-workers won't shut up; it's not just Chatty, either -- co-workers who are several doors and walls away from me have been loudly guffawing all fucking day (this is nothing new -- one woman laughs at EVERYTHING, loudly, all day long -- but it's gotten on my last sleep-deprived, over-sugared nerve today);

(2) stupid work deadlines are asinine and going to screw me SO HARD tomorrow, and *I* can't do anything about it, because it all hinges on other people (like Big!Boss) getting stuff to me on time, and when I've tried begging, pleading, and telling them that if they don't get it to me on time then the journal won't go out on time, they just tell me Tough Shit -- you are GOING to make it go out on time; this is going to lead to me being here tomorrow (Friday, goddammit) until, I'm guessing, at least 7:00, which sucks worse on a Friday than any other day;

(3) freelance work has piled up all at once and everyone wants their stuff right nownownowNOWNOW;

(4) okay, he's a sweetheart, but The Boy has 2 dogs and 3 cats and is as lax about cleaning as I am, so there's pet hair EVERYWHERE, and I adore him, okay, but the pet hair is doing such a serious whammy on my allergies, and I can't really say "Gee, vaccuum your house or I can't come over," because that's just rude and points out his lack of housekeeping diligence, which would be no big deal with anyone else, but it's a big stressful deal for him because of how his ADD leads him to neglect stuff all the time,* and he knows it and feels really bad about it, and maybe my allergies would be a good motivator for him to NOT neglect vaccuuming (and changing the sheets, and don't even let me get started on his sheets -- he sleeps with the pets, and -- ACK), but [see #5];

(5) I don't *want* to be the motivator for him to vaccuum -- and I don't *want* to remind him to do stuff -- because I cannot abide being in the caretaker role, damn it, I do it enough with my dad and I do NOT want to do it with The Boy, and why can't someone be *my* caretaker, just fucking once, damn it?

(6) I'm sore all over from lifting weights.

(7) Can't sleep; clown will eat me. If I don't start sleeping normally -- and enough -- I am going to fall over and turn to dust.

*(The ADD ---> neglecting stuff is NOT me making excuses for him, and he doesn't use it as an excuse, in the sense of "Oh well, nothing I can do about it; that's just the way I am." He's very aware of it, and -- I don't know enough about ADD, but it's a brain chemistry thing just like depression, and it's a real issue, not just a handy excuse for laziness.)

I cannot stress this strongly enough: NO BRACKET HUGS, PLEASE. Seriously. I just needed to vent before I blew up at a co-worker or the nice lady in the deli.

these damned allergies, which resist Claritin's might.

Claritin does shit for me, and it makes me drowsy, even though it's not supposed to.

Do you know when Allegra is supposed to go OTC?

why can't someone be *my* caretaker, just fucking once, damn it?

Um, not trying to send you off the edge or anything, and I know you want to be respectful of his ADD, but can you maybe say "You know I love spending time with you, but it's kind of hard for me to be at your place, so maybe we should look at spending more time at my place?"

That sounds like a big pile of bad stuff all coming together, Tep. Good luck with not blowing up (at the nice lady, anyway. It kinda sounds like the co-workers could use it. Even if they are the wrong co-workers. Someone clearly needs a whack upside the head.)

these damned allergies, which resist Claritin's might.

Claritin does shit for me, and it makes me drowsy, even though it's not supposed to.

Do you know when Allegra is supposed to go OTC?

Not off the top of my head, but I believe (unrelatedly) that Zoloft is finally FINALLY going generic in June. Woot.

why can't someone be *my* caretaker, just fucking once, damn it?

Um, not trying to send you off the edge or anything, and I know you want to be respectful of his ADD, but can you maybe say "You know I love spending time with you, but it's kind of hard for me to be at your place, so maybe we should look at spending more time at my place?"

Nah, I'm not going off the edge over that -- and I *can* say that to him, I'm just so stressed today that everything feels like a big! insurmountable! problem!

That sounds like a big pile of bad stuff all coming together, Tep.

Like I said, nothing is a big problem -- it's just that my lack of sleep and my thrall to Sweet Lady Sugar Cane and my allergies are making me less able (or willing) to deal with the other stuff.

Know what sucks wide?

Having to gather "evidence" on someone.

oh, yeah, Aimee, I have so been there. Blah.

The thing is, I brought to the attention of the powers that be, but in typical Aimee-Fashion, I didn't think I'd end up having to make the noose. Fuckity.

can you maybe say "You know I love spending time with you, but it's kind of hard for me to be at your place, so maybe we should look at spending more time at my place?

I always have a difficult time with that due to the pet situation. I can't leave my dog at home all night alone (the cat could care less) and I can't always take him to wherever it is I'd like to spend the night. Does The Boy have roommates that can watch the furry ones?

Having to gather "evidence" on someone.

It doesn't always suck. I mean, it does if you like the person... or even if you have no feeling about them whatsoever. If you strongly dislike them, though, it can be kinda fun. Or so I've heard.

At firs Iwas worried, but now I see it all just lots of stuff nibbleing you .

and yay for new classes.

and yay for a b.

and in odd news, I am actually doing things today. Including makeing lists. I haven't made a list in months. The orb is very moativating.

and despite not feeling like I did real well yesterday, after finishng putting my food in fitday - nothing was as bad as I thought. It looks like if I eat cookies, they become part of my over all normal caloric intake , not extra on top of my regular intake. I've been trying to do this for years. yay me