Jesse, this is not how you prevent identity theft.

Crap!

Yeah, they said they checked and saw that I already had phone service with Bell South, so they called to find out if it was really me.

Still no FedEx. Despite the fact that they called me at 7:15 this morning.

When I went to lunch, there was a big FedEx truck parked on the street. The driver was sitting inside, eating his lunch.

If I'da known, I would'a pounded on his door and said, "Dammit, shrift is waiting!"

Cable guy report:

So after waiting a couple of hours, I get a knock on my door. But it's not the cable guy it's the new girl who just moved in upstairs. She can't figure out how to use the laundry. So I go to the laundry room to show her how the machines work. The problem isn't that she's too thick to figure out how to use a washing machine, it's that there's no power in the laundry room, which, not so coincidentally, is where our cable hook ups are! And there's a plug coming from the cable box that's plugged into an outlet.

So I'm pretty sure that's why my cable is on the fritz. I cancelled the service call. But I don't want to go back to work. I don't have to, do I? I'll only get about 1.5 hours of vacation back if I go now. It's okay for me to relax the rest of the afternoon, right?

Curses! Foiled again!

Maybe it is time to call FedEx?

Jesse, you'd think the police report would suffice. Sheesh. Maybe try to get a person (on any topic) and do the whole dog-with-a-bone routine.

Well, if they bring it in the next few hours, I may still make the wedding. If they dawdle, I should still be able to make the reception, providing I don't get caught in rush hour traffic. If rush hour is upon me by the time my chair gets here, then I suppose I can blow off the wedding and drive up tomorrow, although I will feel bad because my family already RSVP'd for me.

Assuming, of course, that FedEx actually delivers my frelling chair.

In happier news:

An attempt by a Ford shareholder to force the automaker to drop protections for LGBT workers from its human resources regulations was swiftly defeated on Thursday.

Shareholders at the company’s annual meeting in Dearborn voted 95 percent to reject the proposal.

Ugh, shrift. Maybe just leave when you need to?

Jesse, you'd think the police report would suffice. Sheesh.

I have yet to have a police report. I guess I should do that, but how would I figure out which police to talk to? The Brooklyn address they've given? My actual address? My parents'? The stores? It's all very confusing. I did just file a report with the FTC, though, and got one of the credit bureaus to open their own investigations, so it's a start.

None of this, however, is getting my stupid schoolwork done.

Call up your local police station or something like that and ask. Lord knows it is common enough that there's probably a straightforward procedure or form they have.