You got all kinds of learnin' and you made me look the fool without tryin', and yet here I am with a gun to your head. That's 'cause I got people with me. People who trust each other, who do for each other, and ain't always lookin' for the advantage.

Mal ,'Our Mrs. Reynolds'


Natter .44 Magnum: Do You Feel Chatty, Punk?  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


JZ - May 11, 2006 8:25:02 am PDT #6765 of 10002
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.

Holy Fucky McFuckityFuck.

So, Hec, how would you feel about cancelling our land line altogether and just going with our cranky left-wing cell phone company?

[link]


DavidS - May 11, 2006 8:33:31 am PDT #6766 of 10002
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

So, Hec, how would you feel about cancelling our land line altogether and just going with our cranky left-wing cell phone company?

But they can nab our cell calls from the airwaves without a warrant or phone company collusion. In fact, I'm sure they're doing that right now.

You know, if I made a list of what I thought constituted a police state I'd start with suspending habeas corpus and the constant surveillience of the citizenry.


Nutty - May 11, 2006 8:37:40 am PDT #6767 of 10002
"Mister Spock is on his fanny, sir. Reports heavy damage."

A police state has to start somewhere! They're easing us into it.

(My list would start with control over news sources, but that's because I am thinking old-fashioned, third-world coup d'etat, and not the slow strangulation of that etat. It's sort of refreshing, the old-fashioned kind, because at least it's not very debatable that it's happening. Walter Kronkite got arrested? Yep, that's a coup.)


Allyson - May 11, 2006 8:38:41 am PDT #6768 of 10002
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica

Is Sprint on the list of companies contributing to the police state? I can't seem to get any info out of them by calling.


tommyrot - May 11, 2006 8:44:09 am PDT #6769 of 10002
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

We know that every single item in a girl's handbag is absolutely essential (even that picture of Dr Kovak off ER), but Miss Army Kit is set to become the most indispensable must-have of the lot. That's because this fabulously feminine little multi-tool is crammed with essential implements for the style-conscious girl on the go - and it's barely bigger than your lip gloss!

Pink, chic and looking like something Penelope Pitstop might keep in her pocket, Miss Army Kit contains everything you need to solve everyday emergencies, including nail file, tweezers, needle and thread, mirror, torch, scissors, corkscrew, perfume bottle, pill box, mini knife, bottle opener, ruler and pen. Try carrying that lot around separately!

[link]


Ailleann - May 11, 2006 8:45:54 am PDT #6770 of 10002
vanguard of the socialist Hollywood liberal homosexualist agenda

Hm... Swiss army goes gay!


Jars - May 11, 2006 8:47:52 am PDT #6771 of 10002

I used to have a bright pink Swiss army knife. And then some bastard nicked it.


JZ - May 11, 2006 8:53:32 am PDT #6772 of 10002
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.

You know, if I made a list of what I thought constituted a police state I'd start with suspending habeas corpus and the constant surveillance of the citizenry.

Explain again why we haven't yet pooled our resources with Emmett's mom and collectively emigrated to, well, anyplace that would have us?


Sue - May 11, 2006 8:53:46 am PDT #6773 of 10002
hip deep in pie

Mmmm, cupcakes: [link]


bon bon - May 11, 2006 9:00:18 am PDT #6774 of 10002
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.

Even though it will surprise no one on this board, this very persuasive paragraph makes me laugh, hard: [link]

The best part about rewatching He-Man, after the initial nostalgia-burst, was tracking the show's hilarious accidental homo-eroticism—an aspect I missed completely as a first-grader. In the ever-growing lineup of "outed" classic superheroes, He-Man might be the easiest target of all. It's almost too easy: Prince Adam, He-Man's alter ego, is a ripped Nordic pageboy with blinding teeth and sharply waxed eyebrows who spends lazy afternoons pampering his timid pet cat; he wears lavender stretch pants, furry purple Ugg boots, and a sleeveless pink blouse that clings like saran wrap to his pecs. To become He-Man, Adam harnesses what he calls "fabulous secret powers": His clothes fall off, his voice drops a full octave, his skin turns from vanilla to nut brown, his giant sword starts gushing energy, and he adopts a name so absurdly masculine it's redundant. Next, he typically runs around seizing space-wands with glowing knobs and fabulously straddling giant rockets. He hangs out with people called Fisto and Ram Man, and they all exchange wink-wink nudge-nudge dialogue: "I'd like to hear more about this hooded seed-man of yours!" "I feel the bony finger of Skeletor!" "Your assistance is required on Snake Mountain!" Once you start thinking along these lines, it's impossible to stop.