I have no idea why straight guys would trust me, but I'm wondering who I'd put up...

Done and done.

Man, I was just looking at my credit report and there is some CRAZY SHIT on there -- addresses I've never had, accounts I don't recognize (which doesn't mean they aren't actually mine, but who knows). Shit.

Shit, Jesse.

In other life sucks news, this week is not going as planned. I just got back from the vet with a leaky Mister Kitty. I'm spoonfeeding him babyfood, and he's been shot up with fluids. Why? Well, he had a weird little puke/pee in a weird place (the other cat's box) sunday night. All last night, he was unusually subdued and did not move from where ever I put him. Tonight I get home and he hasn't eaten or used the box. This Is Bad, especially for a diabetic cat. The vet had me come straight in. His blood sugar is ok (a little low for this time of night, but that's because HE DIDN'T EAT ALL DAY) and he's got a bit of a fever. And he's got some tender spots in his belly. NOT GOOD. So they took some blood, stuffed fluids under his skin to prevent dehydration. They'll call me tomorrow with the test results and what is next if it isn't a simple infection. Please let it be a simple infection. The alternatives....not going there.

This sucks.

I got about 2 teaspoons of babyfood into him. That's a start.

bt? Is this so?

I'm tempted to say no, simply because there are very few rules that apply to all species. (Hell, there's even one species of animal which last had sex about 85 million years ago. Mutant freak.) But it's true that unstable, aggressive pack leaders don't sound like a winning strategy. For the most part. I'd suggest, however, that in an animal like the lion, it's possible. Here the pack leader isn't contributing anything to hunting fitness, he's just fighting off other males and indulging in rampant bonking. (And infanticide. Always the infanticide.) If your only real duties involve getting your Mike Tyson on every time something in a mane strolls by, somewhat unstable aggression could work for you.

Whereas I, semi-vegetarian though I be, learned more about cephalopods, specifically the giant squid, and thought, Fuck it. They're terrifyingly cunning and it's blazingly obvious that they'll not only eat me if they get the chance, they'll PLOT about it first and rub their tentacles together afterwards, cackling with unsettlingly sentient evil glee. I am SO eating them first!!

Ooh. So very wrong-headed. Unless, of course, you are eating actual giant squid. I'd even give you a pass for the Humboldt squid, which after all have a five-foot long body and scythe-like hooks on their tentacles, and a history of attacking people. Oh, and lately they've been swarming in their millions off Monterey Bay and the coast of California down into Mexico.

But for the rest of the squid family, that fantastic nervous system is devoted to a very simple goal, and that goal is FLEEEEEEEEE!!! Seriously, squid have about the fastest reaction times of any animal, and can accelerate away from danger very rapidly through jet propulsion. And check out some of their other escape techniques:

Despite the squid's swimming abilities, its abilities as a high jumper should not be overlooked. Instances where squid have leaped more than 40 feet out of the water are not uncommon. Apparently, when trying to avoid their predators, which can be numerous, entire schools of squid will leap and fall into the sea simultaneously, in one balletic motion.

One other well-known "escape" response of squids is their ability to eject black ink. Inside the mantle cavity of squids lies an ink sac. When disturbed, they eject a cloud of ink which temporarily confuses the squid's predators. The ink is believed to function like a smoke screen to create a diversion while the squid escapes. One species of squid turns black all over its body, emits a cloud of black ink, then turns white and slips away, all within the space of a second. All that's left for the predator is a cloud of ink. Another species of squid, which spends all of its life in the dark abyss, ejects a cloud of luminescent bacteria instead. In this way, it's predator might even be temporarily blinded, just long enough for the squid to escape.

And again with the intelligent, and also very sociable:

It is also postulated that their highly evolved nervous system allows them to maintain sophisticated patterns of social organization. Their gregarious nature and their use of color implies a kind of language between individuals. They have even been observed using arm signals; an upraised arm appears to mean "go away."

I think it means "talk to the tentacle" myself, but there you go. Still, I will not object if you feel the need to eat the Humboldt (I still won't be joining you, though I probably won't go so far as to root for the calamari). And for your peace of mind, I present the account of probably the best-known Humboldt attack:

In 1991, Howard Hall, a cinematographer, decided to try to capture footage of a Humboldt squid (ranging up to 6 feet in length) following a hooked fish to the surface, a phenomenon often observed by Mexican fisherman. "Not a good idea," said one of the fisherman. Hall hung at about thirty feet, filming while a thresher shark was being reeled in. Suddenly, he noticed "rapid-fire strobes going off about 5 times per second...flashing from bright red to ivory white." Hall noticed a school of 5-foot long squid ascending from the depths. They attacked the shark and then turned their attention to Hall's dive buddy.

"Alex was behind me in the darkness. He had no movie lights to ward off the squid. A group ascended from the depths below, frenzied by the smell of blood in the water. Three large squid grabbed Alex at the same time. Suddenly, he felt himself rushing backward and down. A tentacle reached around his neck and ripped off his pre-Columbian gold pendant and chain, tearing the skin on his neck. Another squid ripped his decompression computer off his pressure gauge. Tentacles tore his dive light from his wrist and his collection bag off his waist. Then, as suddenly as they had grabbed him, the squid were gone."

"Whether the "red-and-white" flashes were group signals to attack or not is pure speculation on my part. Notwithstanding, it seems to me that the squid attacked the divers with the speed and skill of a well-seasoned team of navy commandos! The suddenness with which they left also attests to some kind of communication between the squids. And somewhere, I imagine, there is a squid with a gold chain around his neck."

Pimp Daddy the Notorious Squiddie Smalls!

Oh, that does suck, Sarameg. I hope it is just a simple infection, and that it clears up quickly.

Poor Mister Kitty! And poor you! I hope he feels better soon.

sara, I hope this passes quickly.

A nifty thing about LA is that when you think 'Hey, that looks like Sally Struthers.' sometimes it is. And sometimes the pharmacy staff will repeat her name over and over. And spell it a couple times. Yet manage to fill your own prescription with minimal naming.

Huh, ita. Well, I guess she needs pills too...I'm not implying, like, Pills. I guess I'd look at photos of Drea from the Sopranos either wet or barefoot, but I'm not sure if there *are* photos like that.