I'm scared of the day I have to buy a new mattress. I totally lucked out on mine -- I bought it used (!! what was I thinking?? But it was nearly-new and perfectly fine) for $100 like 8 years ago, and it's still going strong.

Just got a nice thank-you call from my mom for her bday present, so that's good.

I have futon mattresses. I think they're great. I figure I'll keep going with them unless I find love in a Tempurpedic.

My mom and I were discussing my mattress about 2 years ago. I mentioned that I needed a new one.

Mom: No, you don't!

Me: Um, Mom? Yeah, I do.

Mom: No! When I bought that mattress, it was top of the line and had a 20 year warranty.

Me: Yeah. And when was that?

Mom: That was when we moved to Denver and (lightbulb goes off) yes, you do need a new mattress.

She bought it in 1979. Yes, folks. My mattress is almost 30 years old.

I'd be all "Mom! I can't do boys younger than the mattress I'm doing them on!"

Heh. My grandmother recently got a new mattress as a gift, because hers was at least that old, but she wasn't going to buy a new one, due to the fact that she's just going to die at any minute (her attitude, not ours), so why waste the money?

I'd be all "Mom! I can't do boys younger than the mattress I'm doing them on!"

does some quick math

Oh. Dear. I think that during my Summer of Indiscretion I slept with someone the same age as my mattress.

My mattress set came from my mom, who had it up in the guest bedroom. I think it was the one she bought when she moved into a condo back in 1985, so that makes it now 20 years old. Being a guest bed, it wasn't used all that much during that time until I got it a few years ago, except for the 20 months I used it when I boomeranged back home in between jobs 15 years ago. Still, I plan on replacing it, most likely next year at this time (I'll probably use my tax refund for it).

I think that during my Summer of Indiscretion I slept with someone the same age as my mattress.

That's kinda cool. I mean, apart from being obviously morally objectionable.

The IVR system I just used not only expected me to talk to it, it also said "Hmm." You are a computer. You're not making anything any better.

That's kinda cool. I mean, apart from being obviously morally objectionable.

Well, he was legal. He, and the mattress, were 22. I, on the other hand, was...ummm.... Not.

I have a foam futon that's thick & mattressy. I love it. And it came squished into this square box, so the guy who delivered it tore open the box and the futon just kind of inflated/exploded out of it, which was quite entertaining.