$1,000 mint julep.

gropes for eyes as they have rolled right the fuck out of my head

I see whale tail all the time, and have been guilty of it a time or two myself, but only when bending over. Low rise pants are in, but not everyone thinks to buy low rise thongs to match. If the pants don't come near your waist and the underwear does, or the pants are loose enough to shift when you bend at the waist but the thong isn't—whale tail.

In case you were in any doubt, yes, it's the Gilded Age all over again.

Blogging about leggings: [link]

I saw two women wearing leggings under ruffled skirts yesterday. If the trend's hit Halifax, it must be over, right?

It's not the leggings I object to, it's the capri length of the. Capris, as I like to say, are the work of the devil.

If you had a private jet, you could have the £85 sandwich for lunch, the $1000 sundae for dessert, and wash it all down with a $1000 mint julep!

(And then, I don't know, light a million-dollar cigar with a $100 bill before going home to sleep on your bed made out of a giant pile of money.)

See, I'm still down with the £85 sandwich, but the $1000 food is a no. Well, the $1000 julep is world of hell-no-why-bother. The $1000 sundae does look quite tasty, but it'd have to be when my sugar daddy is footing the bill.

Dear Coworker,

The reason why my department doesn't process your requests in a timely fashion is because you keep misspelling our department e-mail address.

See, when that happens, we don't get your e-mails.

No, really.

And after Friday, copying my individual address isn't going to work anymore. I suggest you learn how to spell by then.

sincerely,
shrift

I may be going to London on business later this year -- I wonder if I could expense an £85 sandwich?

[eta: £85 sandwich, in greater detail:]

The slices of 24-hour fermented sour dough bread are spread with a mayonnaise flavoured with foie gras (£30 a lb) and black truffle (£340 a lb). There is a generous helping of brie de meaux, considered Europe's finest cheese.

The beef itself, comprising a third of the weight of the sandwich, is a snip at £28 a pound. The meat is seared in a pan on both sides for two minutes and then basted with yet more foie gras before being chilled for 15 minutes and sliced.

English cherry tomatoes and rocket, plus peppers roasted on a naked flame and then skinned and sliced finely, complete the presentation.

The reason why my department doesn't process your requests in a timely fashion is because you keep misspelling our department e-mail address.

Dear Mysterious and Terrifying Tech Goddess,

Spelling is hard. Are you really going to make the Sun go away on Friday?

Sincerely,
Og, Frightened and Simpering Peon

it'd have to be when my sugar daddy is footing the bill.

You have a sugar daddy?