And pretending that the numbers don't skew terrifically one direction, or that that doesn't or shouldn't tell us something about the roots of the problem - well, I just have a hard time with that.

I do agree with this, but it still doesn't mean that I see it as problem of men against women. The men who are the attackers are as much a product of the society I help create as the woman who is the victim is, is the point I'm trying to make, I think.

Yeah, not like I was looking for it. The duck was funny...the dick? Not nearly as much.Except that the bartender was like "yeah, yeah...put that thing away."

ETA: I think it reveals his contempt for women, but I don't think he was planning murder.

I think he was high off the rape and bragging. He was trying to top himself because it was just. so. fucking. cool.

Well, yes. Would you feel it was a gender issue if you read about a man being raped by his husband, or a friend? Or a girl being raped by her girlfriend, or a female friend? Or an elderly person being raped by a person in a position of power?

Well, in the infentisimal percentage of rapes that that is the case probably no. But the vast VAST majority of the time men rape women. Women CAN rape men (they can certainly gang-rape men), but they generally don't. Men CAN rape men but they generally don't. Women CAN rape women but again, hardly ever. I'm not saying it isn't horrible when it happens (because it certainly is) but it is such a teensy percentage of rapes that it isn't even really the same topic. Why would it have the same motivations?

If there were some sort of parity in rapist/rapee genders that would be a very important point but clearly in addition to why those rapes happen (reasons that are probably the source of SOME percentage of male on female rape as well) there is some ADDITONAL reason men rape women.

Women are second-class citizens in much of the world, but that doesn't mean your distrust and anger towards the men you actually see every day is a healthy response

I don't think Allyson is claiming the response as healthy but more along the lines of "scary as hell".

Men CAN rape men but they generally don't.

Still, men raping men is far more common than women raping... anybody.

Years ago I heard that when you take into account prison rape, men are raped more often than women, but I don't remember where I heard that and am not sure that's correct....

I've read that, too.

I see parts of what so many people are saying.

I have huge personal safety issues. Knowing that men are much more often the perpetrators of violent crimes in this country and almost always the perpetrators against someone who fits my description - well that makes me look differently at men that I don't already know than women I don't already know. I am not happy that it is a reality in my head, but it is.

Rights of women is completely different in my head. I know as many (maybe more) anti-choice women than men. I have heard women arguing against the right to vote ans the right to be in public with uncovered heads. I know educated women who I consider friends who choose to be a part of organizations where they do not get to participate as equals with men who are not even 18, much less the ones who are their peers.

It is all so sticky, and upsetting making, and not in anyway making the men I know and love in anyway anything other than people I trust wholly.

men are raped more often than women

Hmm. If you look at it as the number of times a man is raped? I don't know.

FYI, after long stalling Duke has finally cancelled the lacrosse season and "accepted the resignation of" the coach. Today. The alleged rape occurred March 13, and the administration has known about it since then.

[link]

Years ago I heard that when you take into account prison rape, men are raped more often than women, but I don't remember where I heard that and am not sure that's correct....

I've heard that too.

But even if its true, its a whole different head. Its almost exclusively in prision so if you're a man and you're not in prison its not something you generally need to think about. It doesn't affect how you walk the dog or dress or talk to people in bars.

Or whether you leave your drink somewhere, or answer a stranger's questions...what clothes you wear where...Or sometimes I do activist things in old parts of the city and my ride's late...it's not my purse people are talking about when they say "I wouldn't be downtown after dark."