Trunchbull?

Ms. Trunchbull is the horrible mean Head of School in the book Matilda.

I'm very strong. I could fight The Trunchbull

Awesome. We just read that to Abe last month.

I think I can carve a target right into Sarah Palin's heart, via her book. Which is commonly available on the thrift market for a low, low price that won't go into her pocket. That actually sounds... fun. Destructive fun! Maybe this will be the perfect opportunity to experiment and find out what happens when I take a belt sander to a book. Then, of course, I will want to find out what happens when I throw her book into a raging BBQ inferno...

Anybody who would like to give an old book a good home where it will be safe from destructive book crafting, please LMK.

I just picked up If You're Reading This, It's Too Late, the second book in the Secret Series by Pseudonymous Bosch (the first being The Name of This Book Is Secret). The gimmick is that the author is really afraid to write these books because you, the reader, might end up getting into trouble with the villains. Which leads to lots of cute narration humor. And this line right here is a prime example of why I enjoy reading these books:

You will notice that I have numbered the chapters in this book backward. Like a countdown to a rocket launch. Or a bomb. With any luck, the book will explode at the end, and I won't have to finish it.

Heaven help us, the first book from Dellarte Press (AKA Harlequin Horizons, AKA Harlequin's vanity press) is up on Amazon.

[link]

Wren is marrying the man of her dreams just as soon as she returns from her trip to the Carolinas-on the first night there, all is changed in an instant. Why? Because the hero of my recently completed novel, Dargan's Desire, has mistakenly taken her virginity. Set in South Carolina in 1826 this fun and sensual, the book is woven with love and deceit. Teaching two people the ultimate meaning of honesty, passion, and devotion.

Charming, spirited, full of excitement and exquisitely beautiful, Wren is forced into a loveless marriage when a beast of a man who takes her innocence. Worldly and influential, Dargan Knight, feels as if he has been trapped by this sprite of a girl into a loveless marriage he will never be able to get out of. Then fate steps in to shake up both their lives when Wren realizes she is with child.

I guess the "author" didn't pay for the extra editing package. Or maybe she did. ::shudder::

Uh.

That's horrific.

Now hold on. First of all, Dargan Knight is a great name. Second of all, you have to like that Wren takes her own virginity my mistake, right? I know I'm intrigued to find out, well okay, I'm completely uninterested, but it's still funny.

Set in South Carolina in 1826 this fun and sensual, the book is woven with love and deceit. Teaching two people the ultimate meaning of honesty, passion, and devotion.

Wow. And that's just the blurb - I shudder to think about the poor mangled grammar in the book itself.

The grammar and lack of talent there sound like every book I've ever copyedited for iUniverse.