Steph, from what you posted last night, it seemed the talk went really well. I'd say you shouldn't worry. The fact that he felt worried that he was the one initiating more often and you said you were consciously holding back from calling him more often is key, I think. When I'm involved with someone, I do take it amiss if I call more often than they do. I feel like I'm forcing myself on them. The fact that you gave him evidence that you were consciously trying to call less because you were worried about forcing yourself on *him* will reassure him a great deal, I think. From your description, it sounds like you guys are on the same page about a lot of things.

As for Great Cinematic Romance...well, it could be that his past relationships haven't gone well because he was chasing after that and didn't recognize other kinds of romance when he saw them. If he likes you and values you, and it sounds like he does, he'll hang on and see where things are going. Eventually, he'll either decide it's love or not. And it sounds like you're still having to decide that yourself because you've been pretty adamant about not using the "b" word.

He talked about how the fact that he's not obsessed with me, not constantly thinking about me and driving himself crazy with it, is proof that this isn't the Real Thing.

actually, from my experience- that would define the real thing - Someone that fits so naturally in your life and doesn't make you crazy all the time. But I've said befor that I don't believe in the grand passion theory of romance - - I actually believe that a sustainable relationship grows into a strrong quiet passion.

actually , reading both accounts you wrote - I think you really are on the same page - You both are skittish about going too far and too fast - and your doubts are when you are away from him - not with him.

by the way - guys looking for a convienent ( I can't spell that word) fuck - don't hang out , take pictures to share with your friends , and lend their gloves. they just fuck and go.

It's the cold talking, Steph. Step away from thinking about relationships until you're getting oxygen to your brain.

All I can keep thinking is "He thinks I'm fat and gross and disgusting and just can't come up with a way to say it."

Ha! You know this is crazy, don't you?

Nothing is too petty to post about if it's driving you crazy.

In light of my previous sentence, I will complain that my dishwasher seems to be dying. It swishes around hot water, but not in such a way as to actually wash anything. Those of you who don't have dishwashers are free to start tuning the world's smallest violins. One problem is that I have had to spend a lot on my house already this year. The other is that Consumer Reports likes the Sears dishwashes best in my price range.

Pro Sears: Easy to buy, good quality merchandise

Con: These are the people who took THREE MONTHS to deliver my new refrigerator.

Just don't decide anything while you're fucked up on cold medicine, Tep. I can so relate that I can't say anything else...but I think it's scientific that GCP is not supposed to be continuous. I have a book about the physiology if you'd like to look at someday. Preoccupied? Me? Nah. And such a geek that I googled "reasons to live" once and was disappointed by what the search turned up. Like Google's a Sorting Hat. Sheesh. Sometimes I *do* feel badly when y'all have all this fabulous news and my life is like "Once again, did not kick brother in the nads for being a selfish idiot." But that's because of me and my issues of feeling deprived a lot. As well as depraved. But, you know, it's not a race, and I'm only being so honest because I love you and trust you. And honestly wish the people that post here every joy. I just wish it came with one of those Amazon Share The Joy thingies and I could get ten percent off of it.

Also, I'm not in this dude's brain, but I am pretty positive he does NOT find you disgusting. Really, fucking truly-o. First of all, in general, crazy talk, though I know you don't believe it. Second, you guys have been intimate too many times for him to really be choking back loathing just to get laid. You can't fake that kind of physical connection, you know it's true. YOU KNOW. Your demons are just fucking with you while you're low.

pointing upward Nora is very wise.

As is everyone else in this thread, but Nora said what I was going to, so of course she's my favorite!

by the way - guys looking for a convienent ( I can't spell that word) fuck - don't hang out , take pictures to share with your friends , and lend their gloves. they just fuck and go.

And so is beth!

Fucking A. The work thing is heating up. So annoying.

I'm juliana's favorite!

t basks

ION, my family is driving me bugshit crazy. I want to live far away from them.

I want to live far away from them.

Don't you? Or not far enough?

by the way - guys looking for a convienent ( I can't spell that word) fuck - don't hang out , take pictures to share with your friends , and lend their gloves. they just fuck and go.

Beth is wise. Also, they don't take care of you when you are sick, which I believe the boy did a while back.

Also, I'm not in this dude's brain, but I am pretty positive he does NOT find you disgusting. Really, fucking truly-o. First of all, in general, crazy talk, though I know you don't believe it. Second, you guys have been intimate too many times for him to really be choking back loathing just to get laid. You can't fake that kind of physical connection, you know it's true. YOU KNOW. Your demons are just fucking with you while you're low.

I keep telling myself that, and on occasion, it does actually register. On occasion. Today just isn't one of those occasions.

"I don't want to be crazy in love. I want to be sane in love."

Heh. *I* told *him* that. Not in so many words, of course, but I told him that if he *were* obsessed with me, I'd freak and run, and that his lack of obsession is *healthy.* But obsession feels normal to him, and I get that, but -- arrgh.

Also, a lot of people who have the conversation you had with The Boy? They wind up being with that person for a good long time. Because their relationship is already based on friendship and honest communication. Throw in the good sex and it's actually a pretty strong relationship you've got going.

This is what I tend to think, too. But I don't know what it's like in his brain. (Squishy, I imagine.)

Eventually, he'll either decide it's love or not. And it sounds like you're still having to decide that yourself because you've been pretty adamant about not using the "b" word.

Heh. Well, true. I even said last night "No! Don't use the 'D' word!" Which made him laugh.

reading both accounts you wrote - I think you really are on the same page - You both are skittish about going too far and too fast - and your doubts are when you are away from him - not with him.

This is true, yeah. And makes me feel better.

buy the way - guys looking for a convienent ( I can't spell that word) fuck - don't hang out , take pictures to share with your friends , and lend their gloves. they just fuck and go.

Also very true. Hmm.

It's the cold talking, Steph. Step away from thinking about relationships until you're getting oxygen to your brain.

Is true. I should actually try to take a nap. (I'm home from work today, because I feel like I've been hit by a truck. A medium-sized one, not a semi, but still a truck.)

You guys, THANKS. A lot.